How to sharpen pencils


#1

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#2

Here are pencils, Nº2 pencils, the only type of pencil that I sharpen…

Are you fucking kidding me?


#3

One of the points of my business.

Well done, sir!


#4

Given that we live in a world of artisanal ice, I thought this was legit until he said that the cloth had to be a rap group t-shirt.


#5

Even if I don’t snap it in half…I’d break the tip in the first 5 minutes because I have a leaden hand.


#6

Artisanal pencil sharpening business? Really?


#7

Another post about this guy, as well:


#8

Water is weird though, and you could theoretically employ some clever aspect of the different ways ice can form (and the different types of ice) to produce some sort of meaningful difference.

theoretically. In truth it’s just exploitative upscale marketing designed to part fools from their money, but at least you technically could make artisinal ice of some sort with actual value. (To say nothing of the curious world of ice art.)

Artisinal pencil sharpening is a load of crock, however. We’re not talking something that benefits from a skilled hand, like a really good shave from a barber might. The human face is not uniform, and consequently requires fine hand manipulation to shave evenly and closely. But pencils are uniform, and can consequently be sharpened perfectly the first time, every time, simply by using an appropriate machine or tool.

I could see selling people a “high grade” or “precision” pencil sharpener to use, but there’s no practical point in paying someone to sharpen the damn things by hand for you. They’re mass produced, disposable writing implements. You are expected to blunt them and resharpen them numerous times.

Why would you pay for a fresh hand sharpening each and every time your pencil gets blunted when you could simply buy a sharpener that can produce unlimited numbers of mechanically perfect sharpenings on demand in the comfort of your own home without cost or effort?

Simple answer: you’re bored and have money to throw at pointless luxury novelties.


#9

Ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha haha
gasp
ha ha
ha ha ha hahahaha


#10

Oh, oh yes!

His “hard scrabble authenticity” kills me!


#11

The guy is parodying the “all hand-tool woodworking” movement to a degree.

…goes back to drooling over $1500 hand planes.


#12

My New Pencil Sharpening Technique Is Unstoppable! the pencil sharpening factory is ON FIRE!


#13

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