Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/06/10/how-to-turn-your-apple-watch-i.html
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That’s a curious form of self-torture.
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This article is a form of torture, I was sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the cliff-hanger moment, “And then the…”
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Sartre was wrong. Hell is notifications.
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“Look at the design and compactness of that portable Skinner Box!”/ Apple fanboi
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I really think I’m on to something.
Let us know when you cash the check.
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I too have my bank alerts set to send me a text notification every time any money at all enters or leaves my account.
But also, sometimes I put my phone the fuck away.
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I don’t own an Apple Watch, but I have terror and dread that, inevitably, someone sitting around me at a movie theater will forget to turn their Apple Watch off, and it’ll glow distractingly throughout the whole film. Every. Time.
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It’s the American way…
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I have never seen the unedited part of that movie, oh god, old eddy murphy is still classic
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Turn on, tune in and watch out.
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Yep. My fitbit is the most stressful game of tomagotchi ever.
The feeding is the easy part. After that it gets more complicated. And I always am keeping in mind this one can’t reset.
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Needs more dread: Trump’s tweets.
Watching Star Trek Discovery is a chord of twinges and dread. They use the same sound effect files as in the game Star Fleet Command, which I added to my SFX library ages ago and purposed for other things. In a tense moment in the show, I get sensations of “My web server is down!”, “I’ve lost Internet!”, “You’ve got mail!”
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My insulin pump is my psychotic clingy boyfriend:
Ooo you’re too high!
You’re too low!
I need a calibration!
You’re low on insulin!
I’m kicking you out of auto mode!
Wait don’t leave me, where did you go??? Come back! I didn’t mean it.
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Your post should go to a hall of fame. Also, it should be adopted into online reviews for every brand of smartwatch and other connected devices.
Thank you for giving me a dealing of amusing hopelessness in our post-postmodern world.
THATS NO ][E
Is there really no Apple ][ emulator for the Apple Watch? Pity. There was one for the Fossil Wrist, one of the first “smart watches”
You had me at “You know, all that shit.”
You can always upgrade to this:
I particularly enjoy the notification from the bank that they covered an unexpected withdrawal of $8.99 against my empty checking account the day before payday, and then charged me $28 for the service.
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According to my Apple Watch, I’m extremely lazy and I have to be reminded constantly to breath. Also, standing for 12 hours isn’t enough, and neither is walking for 4 miles.
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