How to write a Chainsmokers song


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I have never heard of this band (?) but apparently all you need to do to make it big in music, books, movies, or whatever is to be white, formulaic, super duper white, and full of your own bullshit.

Now get off my lawn.


They used to be a run-of-the-mill IDM unts-unts-unts electronic duo, but when they started writing songs about how hard it is to be white and rich and have sex, they became super popular for reasons that I do not understand.

They’re douche-bros who like to talk about doing drugs and how big their penises are. And they are legitimately terrible.


They appeared on SNL this weekend. I agree that they were incredibly boring and very white indeed. Blah. Kids these days and their “rock and roll”!


At least they use 3 chords. I can name popular “alternative” acts that only have 2 chords.


High praise!

(Has the bar really fallen that low?)


It also helps to have parents connected to the media-industrial complex. See also Lena Dunham and The Strokes, to give but two examples.


Meh… it’s just the preppies taking our purposeful amateurism!


Oh. This fucking song.

I immediately stopped the video as soon as I recognized the song and put on some prog rock instead.


They make Vampire Weekend seem interesting by comparison


If you think The Strokes are formulaic, you are not a musicologist.

EDIT: But they are full of their own bullshit.


I’m more of a fan of modality than chord structures


Purposeful amateurism is the new professionalism!

Ergo: Preznit Trump


I thought we were talking about purposeful amateurism


Oh, it takes hard work to still be that actively stupid at 70.


As long as it’s white guys, it’s all right! Everyone wants to be a punk now…


Or just being really insulated from the world.


His single-minded motivation of self-aggrandizement strikes me as very purposefully determined, to a laser-like degree. He doesn’t mind presidenting in full-on amateur mode, as long as peons love him for it. Hell, that’s exactly WHY a lot of them love him.


Good call. Crap like this definitely makes me reach for Relayer.