I am afraid


I am scared shitless of the world every single day.

But the secret of life is to have no fear.



Although the wildlife here would see that as a crunchy snack. I’m not really scared of spiders or snakes or stonefish or crocs or sharks or jellyfish or anything like that much. But scorpions can fuck right off.

And if I had to visit the USA, Florida seems the least crazy place to me. But I won’t for all sorts of reasons. Mostly because it would mean going on my own. And that’s… yeah, nah. Not gonna happen. Nope. No way.


I used to flip over rocks and boards looking for scorpions (and snakes) since I thought they were so cool, esp the bark scorpions until my wife persuaded me I had to end that hobby. Jellyfish, though. No. I see a jellyfish and I’m out. And I know people who stepped on stonefish. They scare the crap out of me.


Also, Florida is awesome. The birds there are glorious. Not Costa Rica glorious, but still glorious. The people up north are terrifying rednecks, and down south apparently insane, but the best birding is south, and at least there are no rednecks.


Not just any old rednecks. Florida rednecks, the most poisonous of the Gulf redneckus phylum!


So yer sayin yer afraid of them Florida nedrecks?


Louisiana has several species of Gulf redneckus that are nearly as horrific and still to be avoided (and also glorious wildlife, though a glory tempered by a brutal climate, the difficulties of avoiding the rednecks, and billions of mosquitoes). I’m afraid of gators but only when they’re close. When they’re a good distance off they’re awesome to behold.


Like all experienced marshland explorers, I carry a trusty antivenom…

From a safe distance, all predators are sublime :relaxed:

Of course there are over seven billion of by far the most vicious predators this world has ever seen, and they’ve solve the transportation problem. * shudders*


Woke up this morning to see my cat pouncing toward my head.

Utterly terrifying for a moment. I was too groggy for my brain to deal with scale, and it was like I was being attacked by a cougar for a split second.

They really are no different are they? Like if you just scaled a housecat up to the size of a cougar, it’d just eat you.


I’m 100% certain my cats would eat us and have the dog for desert if they were cougar sized. Fortunately they’re small, like belly rubs and fear the water spray bottle. So while I’m very much their slave in charge of food, litter and supplying toys, I’m still too big to be the food.


Every time I’ve seen a rattler in the wild I didn’t really think in safe distance terms so much as getting as far away as fast as possible. I spotted a juvenile rattler in the hills of Riverside when I was hiking with my brother in law, foolishly mentioned this, and the crazy bastard started poking it with his fishing pole. This further scared me in a situation where there was already a rattler nearby.

Also, as far as I’m concerned there’s no safe distance from cougars. Never seen one in the wild, never want to see one in the wild.

Humans, though, no way to keep a safe distance from all of them, so you just have to live wth the fear. It’s worst when I have to get haircuts and do small talk, but I quit cutting my hair, so that’s less of an issue.


If you actually see a cougar, that means it’s already decided that you’re it’s next food.


Welcome to the long-hair club. Your spousal unit’s wet-brush is your friend and ally against knots and tangles.


You and me both. I get to put on my battle suit in a few hours, and try to squeeze a few drops of compassion out of this world.

I signed up for this job, it is up to me.



I will fight for every gram of compassion.


Quite right too.

I mostly just wanted an excuse to post an Asuka gif. :smiley:


Luckily I don’t post gifs. @Mindysan33 can I get an assist here? You know, set’em up knock’em down style? I set them up, but you ally-oop like noones business.


She has a normal-person job, and kids and such.

I’ll spot ya a static till she’s around:


I am gonna go back to listening to Munrow, forget everything I know about taring, and and attempt a good night’s sleep.

See you in like ten minutes.