I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

No, behind our portrait of… waitaminute. I’ve fallen for this before and not again.

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If Rob opens the safe and finds several stacks of money, a bottle of bourbon, and a Bingo card with a note from Alan to Vincent, I’m going to be very disappointed in Boing Boing.

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In the bunker.

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We keep our panic room inside the safe. Works out really well, so long as there’s someone left outside who knows the combination.

We keep the safe inside our mild paranoia room. That’s hidden behind the… Why do you want to know? What’s with all the questions, anyway?

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Don’t you know we have a thread for that?

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How could I forget?

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You placed the note in a safe?

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i believe the expert i referenced was talking about this particular model - or one very similar to it

can we assume: (value if can open it) > (value if drilled carefully and made usable again) > (value if can’t open it)?

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Strictly speaking I wrote the combination on a Post-It note and hid it on the underside of a Klein bottle, which I would normally take into the safe. For safekeeping, you understand. When it’s not in the mild paranoia room the safe stays in the touching naivety room, which is accessible via a switch hidden in the 3-D printed bust of Cory Doctorow on my desk. Hope this helps!

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It’s a safe assumption.

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Would we let you?

I can panic anywhere, so the whole universe is my panic room. Oh my God I’m going to die, and in 100 years nobody will even remember that I once lived! And I need to file a tax extension this week! That’s what a panic room is for, right?

A room for feeling safe in is harder, but if you can get that right the whole universe is your safe room too.

I might not be using these terms in the canonical way.
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UPDATE: Tried a few combinations (to no avail), plenty more obvious ones to check. Was distracted by dog requiring intensive belly rubs.

If the basic combos don’t work out, I’ll be removing the wooden skirting board to see if the safe can be easily removed. In either case, probably off to the locksmith then!

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Try looking for the combination written on the top edge of the closet door, in the medicine chest, and in or on the bottoms and sides of built-in cabinet drawers.

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It’s a smaller version of the Iron Lady from The Invisibles.

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All you have to do is cut a hole in the faceplate between the combination and the handle,there is an iron bar connecting them both, cut that through and knock it back towards the combination with a cold chisel or big screw driver and Bingo its open. You may have to cool the safe down with water because the safe door can expand and jam if you used an oxyacetylene cutter. Don’t forget to cut a nick in the iron bar so you can knock it back with the cold chisel/screw driver.If you used an angle grinder you could repair it I suppose?

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Or he could call in someone who is going to leave it intact and give him a combination.

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you sound like a dirty effin quitter

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