Bust Rob's Safe Wide Open 🔐

In order to open Rob’s safe

I’ve started a gofundme campaign to raise that $400 for @beschizza and crack this godforsaken safe once and for all.

Let’s make this happen, people! I’ve kicked it off by contributing $50 to get us started… every $ helps!

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I’m in, too. This has gone on long enough.

For Christ’s sake.

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Okay, here’s the big question-

If we donate, and the safe turns out to be filled with banknotes or stock certificates or something, do the people who chipped in for the locksmith get a cut?

Because then I’m in for $25.

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I’m pretty sure this will be inside

Only one way to find out, my friends.

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Hire a locksmith to open that thing? No deal. If I’m going to contribute I want to see that thing opened up using the technique Robert De Niro employed in The Score: create a hole in the top with a thermic lance, fill the safe with water, insert a small explosive charge and let the shockwave blast the door open from the inside.

Deemed “plausible” by Mythbusters!

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Get a pants-less method actor to mock Rob by noting his resemblance to a character from children’s entertainment?

Surely it wouldn’t be the first time for that sort of thing…

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Although it destroyed the contents of the safe…

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Yabut will my payment go to refashioning the now-closed Shopko in Bountiful, UT into a giant, lifelike statue of Jean Lafitte?*

*Asking for my chaotic neutral elven friends…

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I’m in. Will get to it by the end of the day.

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You might not want to bother…

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Jesus.

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Since this has already been started, I will do it!

$403.99 stretch goal: Geraldo Rivera photograph placed lovingly on the safe as it is filmed being opened.

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I’m in. Agree on the stretch goal. If we can’t make this an entertainment win, we should make it an epic fail

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Not entirely!

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This is about porn, right? I mean, it is isn’t it?

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Why does GoFundMe want my zip code and first name? Isn’t my money good enough for them without my demographics?

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I’m making a pledge in Donald trump’s name for negative eleventy million dollars and I’m nominating DB Cooper as ‘Doubloon Deliveryman’.

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:musical_note: There was nothing in Al Capone’s vault, but it wasn’t Geraldo’s fault :musical_note:

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How much to have it opened by a locksmith in a chicken outfit?

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They need it to charge your card. Same reason the gas pump needs a zip code these days. I’m actually surprised they didn’t need a full billing address.


Why did it take us this long to back Rob in a corner?!

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