If history were a movie, what would be the most egregious plot holes?


That a quintessential villain, an evil penguin vice president, was actually running the country to make money for a syndicate of heartless wealthy business owners whose goal is to rule the world. It’s too cartoonish to be true, (and yet it is).


That time when a presidential assassin, who was in police custody, was shot to death by some goofball on live television – who’s gonna believe that silliness?


Using Deus Ex Machina to solve everything.


It never made sense to me that in 2013 the most powerful and advanced nation in the world is largely populated by people who believe in three thousand year old fairy tales told by iron age middle eastern sheep herders.

Who would buy that? It’s just too improbable.


Princess Leia and I never marrying.


This has been codified: Brinkmanship.

I guess it’s really more of a sub-plot, but wait’ll you see what happens to the Kardashians!

There is of course the shoddy writing behind all of World War II.

There have been short-stories written on this topic, in which a future lecturer debunks (say) the history of World War 2 by pointing out the huge coincidences, blatently symbolic names, classic themes, etc. which indicate that it must have been a myth building upon previous myths.

More than forty years after we landed on the Moon, any kid can carry a gaming system that has the same computing power that NORAD did back then, but at this moment, we don’t have the equipment needed to land on the Moon. Yet we’re racing dune buggies on Mars. Really?

And fucking magnets…

The whole thing started with that “God” character and then, after making the world twice, he just disappeared.

Alexander the Great had a good run, but the spinoffs they attempted after the title character was killed off were just pathetic. Perdiccas was an OK supporting character but he just couldn’t carry whole Empire on his own.

It was all a dream!

The ascendancy of the House of Windsor to the British Throne.

The assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand in 1914 was just a plot device to move the story of the International Land Grab forward to its logical conclusion.

The repeated failure of ether drift experiments led to the discovery that the fundamental nature of the universe is ultimately based on randomness.

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