If you could choose to find out your death date, would you?

Thanks.

But then, the question becomes, would you have died if not for the illegal drugs?

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D’oh! I guess I’m older than I think I am. Timor mortis conturbat me, eh.

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100% yes. Contribute to my 401k or travel the world? Quit smoking or fuck it? Pay for health insurance or take up extreme sports?

SIGN. ME. UP.

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Oh heavens no. I can’t even bring myself to look up my profile on “ratemyprofessors.com

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It’s not so bad. I just looked it up for you and one of the reviews says " Vince Vaughn is his doppelganger."

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Sure. I always prefer to choose knowledge over ignorance, especially if the knowledge doesn’t require a whole hell of a lot of effort to acquire. If I knew I was gonna crap out a half-hour from now, I’d find something better to do than stand here in my office finishing this post.

I’m gonna die someday, maybe soon. If I can find out when (and I’m assured that nothing I can do will change the date), then I’d blithely schedule my affairs to get my shit together and enjoy what remains to me.

Living without knowing means you really gotta live every day as if it’s your last, and I tellya, you can’t properly do that and keep the bills paid.

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I’m afraid I might find out that it happened years ago.

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Doesn’t that also make Vince Vaughn YOUR doppelgänger?

Wait, does that mean we have a trippelgänger?

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Are you sure one of you isn’t Vince Vaughn? Have either of you ever seen the other in the room with him?

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It means that one of them can rob a bank. The other two give him plausible deniability if not a fall guy.

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“Why WOULDN’T I want someone to spoil Game of Thrones in advance?”

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Now THAT DOESN’T COUNT!!!

Who wouldn’t argue about Spoiler Alerts regarding whether or not that oncoming bus is gonna jump the curb and splatter you all over the entrance to that particularly embarrassing F-Street Bookstore you’ve just stepped out of?

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Oh, wait until you see the carnage at the Chartreuse Wedding…

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Heinlein - "Life-Line"

Yes, in a heartbeat. Then every day till that day I’d try something that should get me killed. It’s a no brainier.

…do I have to tell my insurance company?

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Hmm. I see one teeny-tiny flaw in the otherwise sterling plan:

Lifelong, crippling, debilitating, painful (but not immediately fatal) injury…

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Meh, heroin.

Sez you now. We know you too well. You like gardening and building outdoor fireplaces wayyy too much to put up with feeding tubes, paraplegia, and daytime TV.

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