If you’d like to be asleep within 120 seconds every night, the Restly Sleep app says they can make it happen

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/04/09/if-youd-like-to-be-asleep-w.html

This sounds like the beginning of a Dr Who episode.

11 Likes

I just drink a soothing can of snake oil.

13 Likes

How about a few stiff drinks?

4 Likes

Subscription? So when the server that holds my license gets sunsetted, I have to stay awake forever? Forget it.

12 Likes

… can actually put people to sleep in only two minutes. That’s a bold claim, …

A claim that is backed up by “all sales are final”.

Hard pass.

Also I guarantee that voices will keep me awake.

9 Likes

It‘s a pity I sleep so well, I‘m a sucker for secret military tactics. Does the app come with a camouflage skin?

6 Likes

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

13 Likes

Is that you, Dalchimski? I told you to stop calling me!

5 Likes

There’s always Local 58’s free “Real Sleep”, which like the rest of its informative content, doesn’t disappoint. Sweet (dreamless) sleep!

6 Likes

giphy (8)

3 Likes

Because snakes need lubrication too!

4 Likes

“the Restly Sleep app says they can make it happen”

I’ll see your say and raise you an “I can make it happen in 119 seconds.” The ball’s in your court, Restly Sleep app.

2 Likes

Ted Benoit - Ray Banana, tome 1 : Berceuse électrique

https://www.babelio.com/livres/Benoit-Ray-Banana-tome-1--Berceuse-electrique/1850

(I’ll try to find a better link.)
Anyway, one of the plot devices is a little machine that supposedly helps you sleep, but really conditions the users to follow an UFO cult, which turns out to be a front for something else.

ETA:
http://www.tcj.com/he-walked-the-line-thierry-ted-benoit-1947-2016/

ETA 2:


That title, by the way, translates to “Electric Lullaby,” and is a brand name for a product that is supposed to help you sleep but instead triggers hypnotic suggestion: under its influence, Ray rushes out to help a cult run by a charismatic fourteen-year-old kill a rock & roll singer and a Russian cosmonaut so that robot lizard people can take over the planet.
(The robot lizard people turn out to be another front for something else.)

6 Likes

That looks amazing, like a Charles Burns comic. Has that been translated to English anywhere?

It is amazing, and great fun!
But I have no idea whether an English version exists.

Somewhere in the middle of Max Richter’s Sleep is a choral section that wakes me up every damn time

1 Like

Lifetime Subscription.
Is that my lifetime or Restly’s?

The lifetime of this offer.

2 Likes

Why I’ve been using this app for 2 weeks now, and it’s really great! I’ve never felt so rested! The best part about it is -

[Phone rings]

Now who could that be? Hold on, let me get rid of them. Hello?

[Voice on phone: The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep.]

And miles… to go… before… I sleep…

[Drops phone, retrieves sniper rifle from under bed, exits apartment leaving front door wide open]

(ETA: FDG135 beat me to it)

4 Likes