Is $17 toothpaste worth the price?

boing
21

I remember when toothpaste came this way. And because I was, like, five or nine, I squeezed from the middle.

Later, as a teenager, I continued doing so, because I did not care.

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23

The ones with plastic beads are to be avoided.
Meanwhile I can’t tell the difference between the $4 equivalent Colgate stuff and the $1 Lidl stuff. After 2 years on the latter my dentist can’t, either.

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24

Tooth cleaners should be bespoke for the individual, I can introduce you to my pastewainer,

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25

I hope he upsells me with fine hand crafted wooden eco-conscious toothbrushes. I sure do need me some artisanal brushes.

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Reclaimed ironwood handles and wild boar bristles. Lovingly crafted with hand tools and the bristles harvested by spear hunting - you can get some fine wild boar sausage from the same harvest.

The Kingsmen shop here - but - don’t share that.

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27

For a website that routinely excoriates overpriced junk sold to pamper the overly rich, this is a most odd item…Sure reads like a paid advert or “informercial”.

At nearly $150/pound this stuff better make your mouth sing and dance and heal up your cold sores and attract nubile versions of whatever gender or genders is your preference.

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Is is made from slave teeth?

I cannot tell a lie, that was tongue in cheek

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29

But, but wasabi!!! Ok, $17 is ridiculous and no fluoride is a bit stupid (on the other had Tom’s of Maine does not have fluoride either)… Still, wasabi!

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Sorry, if you buy this, you’re a twit. And if you shill for this on your website, you’re a twit.

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31

I just can’t keep track of the sea buckthorn I need otherwise! So when I need to infiltrate a super l337 mennonite “fishin’” camp and liberate the Galatian Spear Rack for reasons, and without the trace of fluoride, this is the stuff.
[Wimpled matron in hand-carved seashell shades glares, gets zoomed in on, then tastefully less so.]
Every time I win a lotto over $100M.
[[same] does not accept this as Redeemingly Honest. Mouths Galatian Spear Rack silently a few times before fade.]

So speaking of perfluorinating things, ChemistryViews.org is putting on an Angewandte(Applied)Fest on the 11th so if you just memorized what a thionyl is, you can watch its ponies parade (depending on how the carving time for Dank Swiss Video thing is going.) Wanted to say thanks for the Cancer-affinity-molecules-spin-100M-RPM-for-the-disruption article; surely that was Cory Doctorow though. Pescowitz again? Thanks David.

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32

No, but it works equally well on all kinds of teeth.

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33

Screw this commercialized late stage capitalism shit. I clean my teeth by rubbing them with pumice blocks that I chip by hand every morning after hiking to the top of the nearest dormant volcano.

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34

Is there a vegan option?

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35

You monster!

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36

I rely on the abrasive quality of my bootstraps, as my hands are busy; one on my heart and the other saluting the flag.

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37

I get Toms for their wintergreen flavor, and it has fluoride.

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39

The traditional approach requires traditional materials.

Besides - adding vegan superpowers to those already provided might fracture
the space time continuum.

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40

Love your avatar. Sure wish the Onion would bring him back.

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41

Hehe thanks - I do too! It was a sad day when he no longer graced its pages.

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