I’m here to tell you that in the 70’s and 80’s, Brussels Sprouts were indeed more bitter and stinky than the fine specimens we enjoy today. BTW, who boils Brussels Sprouts? They are to be roasted.
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…okay I deserved that.
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cauliflower caulifla is perfect, no change necessary. 
Grill, roast or saute it, use butter. Garlic and/or dill are good companions for it. Don’t ever boil it. It’s best from the farmer’s market or your own back yard (if you have room) so you get thin stalks rather than the gross pulpy stocks you find most of the time at the grocery store. Your pee will smell weird, this is normal, don’t panic.
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Nope. They’re still horrible.
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Asparagus has definitely migrated from the “hate it” to the “I’m ok with it and sometimes really like it” category. Chard, on the other hand can burn in hell.
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I confess that I’ve only grown rainbow chard for other people, and have not tried it that I know of. I’ll eat those “spring greens” salad mixes, though, so I probably have tried it without realizing.
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i was not made to eat brussels sprouts as a child, so i don’t have any of that direct trauma that others are identifying. but i can say that i have given them an earnest try as an adventurous and vegetable-loving adult, and have found them quite repulsive no matter how expertly prepared.
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YMMV, but not only does it taste like dirt to me, it carries the added bonus of making my teeth feel like they’re rotting! Sort of like eating a whole bag of Skittles. The dirt-flavored ones.
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The diameter of the stalks isn’t the issue. The pulpy or woody texture depends on when the stalk is harvested. Where as the thickness depends on the total age of the plant (Asparagus being a perennial).
Thick stalks can be plenty tender, and I’ve had tons of thin ones from the grocery store that are stringy as hell. One of my favorite farms around here has asparagus plants that are over a decade old and still producing, which is rare since conventional asparagus plants only produce for seven years.
It’s sort of a self perpetuating bed of plants his grandfather planted in the 60’s. The stalks are often over an inch thick at the base and quite short. Apparently a local heirloom variety, our farm coop sometimes sells seed derived from the bed.
They’re fucking delicious. And should be coming into season soon.
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Ah, so similar to my frenemy beets, AKA purple dirt!
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I like those little cabbage balls, but I only skimmed the summary and my takeaways were:
- Anchovies are vegetables
- Brussels is in the Netherlands
- In Belgium, where they speak Dutch, they just call them sprouts.
My go-to cooking method is like @GospelX-- score down the middle, and saute or roast in olive oil, garlic, and salt, but with either paprika or parmesan cheese (not both).
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As with any bitter veg, blanch or steep in milk+water, rinse, then sautee. Otherwise unappetizing cabbages and Belgian endive become enjoyable.
No, they’re terrible.
As are all frozen vegetables save for peas or corn.
My mom STILL uses frozen vegetables at her house, it’s so gross. I’m like “we live in CA, why would you eat frozen vegetables when we have such a variety of fresh ones available all year round?”
When they moved closer to us, we were planning Thanksgiving and they actually suggested using frozen green beans with dinner and I put my foot down and said absolutely NOT.
Thankfully I turned them on to a CSA program that my wife and I also subscribe to.
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OK, I love fresh Brussels Sprouts, when roasted or grilled. Add BACON!
Now I’m thinking since I enjoy cabbage on my tacos, whether I should try and thin slice some raw sprouts to add to my tacos.
I only dislike (many recipes of) Broccoli and individual peas. I convinced my parents I was allergic to them when I was young and had allergies.
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Do not boil. Steam or, even better, microwave with a tablespoon of water in a sealed container with a small vent (helps the steam circulate).
ETA and do not microwave on full power for the full time. Lower power for enough time to partially defrost. Leave to sit while preparing rest of meal, then microwave again to actually cook.
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Again, lightly steamed (not too much such that they lose all crispness) and slathered in salted butter.
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It’s also possible the distaste is due to genetics. Studies have suggested that people with the TAS2R38 gene think Brussels sprouts are too bitter, and that people with the OR26A gene think cilantro / coriander is soapy.
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Have you considered that you might be a non-taster? We all have our unique sense of taste, but I’ve never considered brussel sprouts to have a neutral flavor. Of course the neutrality of the taste of rice is a cultural thing, too, but it certainly seems to be a flavor more easily upstaged by seasoning.
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Frozen veg are a good/cheap plan b. Thing is that not every vegetable freezes well. Leafy greens in particular don’t hold up. But corn aint bad (though I’d go to bat on canned being better), frozen broccoli and cauliflower are pretty decent. Some root veg (though i wouldn’t count carrots). Peas.
But claims that there’s “nothing wrong” or its the same mystify me. There’s is no getting over the damage freezing does. And all the talk of “peak freshness” being locked in and more nutrition by going right from field to freezer come straight from Birdseye and Green Giant marketing.
I know.
Microwaving carefully produces mushy greyness just as much as anything else. Leafy greens do not hold up to freezing. They just don’t. Tiny little ice crystals blowing up cells can not be gotten around. And it destroys the point of a brussels sprout just as much as cooking them for 40 minutes, by whatever means.
More over since that cell damage causes them to dump liquid just about as much as they can. Frozen can’t be roasted, fried or sauteed. They just steam in thier own gross as they wilt.
