Judge okays $1 million bond for Giuliani associates Parnas and Fruman, related marijuana scheme revealed

Good call.

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I’m sure this is just more proof that the deep state is out to get very fine patriotic entrepreneurs who support trump.

Obviously, this much smoke could not actually come from a fire, but rather dry ice conspicuously placed in hot water to simulate a fire. Obviously.

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CORRECTION: Igor Fruman? The Cannabis King of Carson?

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I’m leaning towards “skip bail” but I assume their passports are being held by the authorities. Of course if they can afford the $1million bail they can afford phony passports and a fishing trip out of Miami in the general direction of Cuba.

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Trump helicopter standing by…

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Something something Insmouth Look.

Did Guiliani scrape these guys up from the bottom of some ones shoe?

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Good gracious, I saw it the other day. It was at an airport. That’s not weird. What’s weird is that College Park, MD was having its annual “College Park Day” at CGS, and the Trump helicopter was one of the aircraft on display. Not sure who gave the invite, who accepted it, or who on both ends thought it was a good idea, given that College Park is a blue-voting area in a very blue county. I’m thinking someone just wanted to figuratively thumb their nose at the attendees, because around here, Trump’s about as welcome as a greasy flatus at afternoon tea.

(I didn’t believe it when someone told me – black helicopter, ok sure, yeah so it’s got red stripes like on Trump’s airplane – wasn’t until the whole event ended and the 'copter took off that I saw the name emblazoned along the side)

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Oh! The many possible thoughts going through their minds: When will we be convicted? After Trump leaves office? Didn’t Rudy guarantee pardons if we were ever caught? Will they be able to trace bail and legal fees back to our overseas friends? What will we tell our mistresses?

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I give it 48 hours before their bail is posted by Trump himself

Through another lawyer of course.

Which then Trump will deny and maybe that lawyer will go to jail as well like Cohen

If so I’m starting to see a pattern here. I am laughing with glee as shit is just hitting the fan everywhere this week, Trump denying knowing them even though there’s photographic evidence, Pelosi is probably laughing at how much evidence is falling into her lap right now

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I wonder if these two are the G. Gordon’s Liddy of Dumb Watergate?

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This will be remembered as one of the rare times in history where a witch hunt finds actual witches.

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It’s possible that this is just what legitimate business men look like in the Ukraine.

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Cheap crooks.

And you don’t book a one-way ticket when you bail out.

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I was trying to express that; though I’d only come up with, “looking like they’ve done that trick where you roll your face across a photocopier, to create an image of both sides of your head”.

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I find it quite sweet that they insisted on travelling together despite the circumstances. I picture them nervously holding hands as they queued up to the gate.

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I mean, we can’t ignore the possibility they weren’t evading justice or congress, but were simply headed on a romantic getaway.

(I realize as I make this joke, which is a joke about the incredible implausibility of this scenario, that someone might read it and think it is a joke about calling them gay and thinking that’s funny. If we lived in an ideal world this joke would be just as easy to make about two men as it would be if they happened to be a man and a woman. We don’t live in that world, so I’m writing a long disclaimer. Arguably far too long to justify a not-terribly-funny joke. But maybe I have some broader point here. Or maybe I just enjoy imagining people finding love, and need an absurd, layered, joke-upon-joke veneer to justify that. We’ll never know.)

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♪ ♫ “If you like subpoena coladas…getting caught in Ukraine…” ♬ ♭ ♮ ♯

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They were two star crossed lovers who just wanted to get a way from it all.

I: You - me - two tickets to the Ukraine, and all the vodka we can drink.

L: You had me at vodka.

But the government had different plans.

G-Man: Stop those two! They are wanted for crimes - against love!

Now they are on the run, and in love.

L: They want to stop us because I love you.

I: They can’t do that. This is America! I will fight them, on Facebook!

Torn apart by the judicial system, will their love survive?

I: Promise me you will never forget me!

L: I promise!

Staring Brad Pitt and Scarlett Johansson in a role unlike anything you’ve ever seen before (shows picture of her in very realistic makeup to look like Lev), and featuring Martin Short as FBI Inspector Johnson.

Johnson: Well - isn’t this a pickle?

Audiences everywhere will fall in love with - Lev and Igor in Love - Based on a True Story. Summer 2020.

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I trust they have GPS monitors clamped onto their tentacles.

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