K-Swiss's new line of performance sneakers for videogaming

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/12/14/k-swisss-new-line-of-perform.html

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god, I love this so much. it’s just so wonderfully dumb. the application of the term “performance” here is just chef’s kiss

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Just when I think we’ve reached Peak Idiot a fresh new vista of stupid breaks open before me. I don’t know who’s dumber: Someone who thought of this to sell or the sub-nematode creature who’d buy it.

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No one ever went broke overestimating the intersection of gamer culture and thoughtless consumerism

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AKA bedroom slippers.

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It is the inevitable in any society as consumerist as our own that there is no way to express identity but to consume.

sigh

In a way I’m being short-sighted, perhaps even classist. Yes, overpriced ‘gaming shoes’ are stupid, but wearing a watch that costs as much as a transmission electron microscope is surely several orders of magnitude more stupid, not to mention utterly grotesque. In a world where Patek Philippe exists, it seems gauche to begrudge people petty luxuries, as silly as they may seem.

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I prefer to play barefoot. This does not compute.

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I play Elite Dangerous, and some guys in my Squadron get so into RP they mockup their controls to nearly perfectly match the ones in their ship.

Sometimes they go so far as to wear split toe booties your commander wears ingame.

There’s definitely a market for trying to sort of cosplay your playercharacter while playing.

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Was I supposed to be using my feet???

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One born every minute.

(prolonged slow sigh of disappointment)

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This application seems pretty dumb. When this fails, they can rebrand them as airline shoes which is maybe still silly but I would argue less so on long international flights. It looks like the shoe is breathable so your feet wouldn’t get so sweaty while the shoe is on. If it’s easy to get on and off while stuck in a center seat that could be a selling point.

Still a stretch. But this is on my mind since I have a long international flight a week from now and my two options are hiking shoes that lace up above the ankle or sandals that get sweaty if I wear them for 18 hours.

“we need a knit shoe”

“everyone else already has one, how do we make it better?”

“say it’s for eSports”

:cash register sound:

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will include the ability to quickly kick the shoes off hands-free.

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So they’re great for Dance Dance Revolution, and …?

If you’re any good at Dance Dance Revolution you definitely don’t want something you can easily kick off.

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“will include the ability to quickly kick the shoes off hands-free. That should help provide comfort during long matches.”

So they’re explicitly saying that the most comfortable (i.e. performance-enhancing) thing you can wear on your feet is not their shoes. Points for honesty, I guess…

No, ‘gaming shoes’ is stupid - it’s a non-sequitur. Doubly stupid since they admit that they even serve the opposite of the intended purpose. If they were simply “videogame-themed shoes” that would be equivalent to overpriced watches. This is like selling a Patek Philippe as a watch for “performance lasagna-eating.”

Ironically they’re bad for videogames that involve the feet…

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Sure, but can I put them back on no-handed?

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We are nearly at peak gaming bubble for consumers. Gaming computers, gaming mice, gaming chairs, gaming sunglasses. All at a premium price over the not-for-gaming versions.

I like to use the old school gaming shoes:
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