Leech smuggler busted at Toronto airport

I prefer to donate my blood to the Red Cross, TYVM.

2 Likes

Yep. That is why they make good bait.

(Also bluegill cannot take chunks out of them)

2 Likes

I canoed in Algonquin National (‘Provincial’ for Canadians) Park a few years back and after each portage had to pluck off at least 4 or 5 of those nasty bastards. Unpleasant to say the least.

4 Likes

“This sort of leech quantity would suggest it was for commercialization,”

“What were you arrested for kid?”
“Possession of leeches with intent to distribute.“
(And they all moved away from me on the bench.)

12 Likes

Threatened? They’re the blood sucking parasite here. I feel more threatened than they should!

1 Like

They didn’t want to kill the threatened animals… they shouldn’t be released into the wild…

So ahead of time, you’ve already ruled out the only two obvious solutions. What’s left? Sell them to aquarium shops and tell everybody they’re special gouramis? Open a leech pit at the local McDonalds?

4 Likes

AND causing public disturbance!

1 Like

No. Kill them. OK?

They’re leeches ferchrissakes.

I went on a camping trip once to this beautiful azure blue glacial pond in the mountains, as we approached we were thinking “man, this is paradise, we shoulda dropped that acid”, then we saw the lake was filled with leeches, and realized we made the right decision not to.

3 Likes

Sure commercializing, or

5 Likes
3 Likes

They are not endemic to Canada. I’m guessing that, wherever they come from, the local authorities aren’t too keen on Canadian wildlife officers planting leeches in their environment…

2 Likes

I can imagine they make good bait. I’ve fished with the rubber versions, just never thought of it.

It is odd, I actually grew up near Frankfort, right on Lake Michigan. Ever go to Sleeping Bear Dunes or canoe the Platte River? I’ve spent a lot of time on the big lake and the inland lakes and rivers in that area, and I cannot recall once seeing a leech swimming anywhere. The only time I encountered one was in elementary school, someone brought a turtle that they caught to school, and a leech fell off of it. I then go live in the UP, and I go paddling in Manistique Lake, and they’re everywhere, just kind of wiggling by, trolling for some animal to stick to, and they’re several inches long too. All the other lakes were like that too.

3 Likes

Canada has both national and provincial parks. Algonquin is provincial, administered by the government of Ontario.

2 Likes

image stop motion animation GIF by The Boxtrolls

Great for cheese allergies, I hear.

3 Likes

This seems like it was reported from some alternate Earth that’s much like ours except Galen was right; and the mules smuggling suitcases of clandestine pharmaceutical grade product are working for the ruthless annelid cartels.

He probably would have gotten away with it if he had only brought “That Guy Who Always Has a Knife” along.

The key to any ruse is successful misdirection.

2 Likes

I think lots of people would be willing to adopt rescue leaches.

3 Likes

Remember the finch-smuggling story from last month, and how it was apparently tied to gambling?

Clearly, someone’s trying to start some sort of contest centered around the suckiest leech. Or something. Can’t you just imagine the suspense of staring at a wallfull of leeches, rooting for your favorite to hang on for the longest?

And if it’s not gambling, then it’s fetish porn, because of course it is.

1 Like

“but i always travel with my 5000 emotional support leeches.”

7 Likes

Hold up
Wait…
Leeches are “animsls”?!