Luke Skywalker is a jihadi who was radicalized by the Jedi

boing
41

Well, documentary sources reveal it was really a domestic dispute gone wrong that killed Owen and Beru.

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42

That is so fake. Those are crisis actors, anyone can see that.

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43

Except that’s not why Luke was there. He left Endor because he threatened the mission and surrendered to Vader because he was sure there was “still good in him”. He was there to redeem Vader, not kill him.

Also,
#How fucking good was The Force Awakens!!??!???!

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44

Sorry, but this has been known for ages. If you weren’t aware I got a video you should really watch called Luke’s Change. The whole thing was an inside job done by family members. You really think some back water farm kid could have blown up a death star on his own?

Luke’s Change: an Inside Job

(edit for spelling and stuff)

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45

For a second there I thought you typed

It’s 4 in the morning here though and I have only just come back home after seeing The Force Awakens, so it might be understandable.

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46

“Yeah. Sorry I’m so tired. Just saw the new Star Wars movie. No big deal.”

Nice humble brag…

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47

Thank you. The galaxy needs to see that all of this is filthy propaganda aimed at destroying imperial civilization from within. The Cultural Mothmans have been subtly inserting themselves in academia for years to indoctrinate our youth, while the wookiees have sunk their savage claws into the holodrama industry to push their liberal, Social Justice Wookiee garbage. By poisoning our intellectual discourse and culture, they are destroying our glorious Empire from within!

Open your eyes, shaakple!

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48
  1. Join the Luke Side of the Force.
  2. Surely it’s JEhaDI.
49

Darth lied, Stormtroopers died!

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50

I can’t offhand think of any similarities between Star Wars and Dune that weren’t pretty well-established sci-fi tropes well before either of them.

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51

Desert planet with a savior trained in powers by a religious order. Not exactly common tropes in the early 70s.

Star Wars ripped off Hidden Fortress far more though.

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52

Star Wars is a narrative about how the force worked a long time ago in a galaxy far away. In religious texts, there’s also a narrative about how the mystical power worked in the past to part the sea, bring plagues, overcome death, etc.

53

I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET!

[Insert amusing GIF here]

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54

If we’re including ESB: worms big enough to swallow a baseball infield.

55

We don’t see it happen so how would you know?

56

#GO NOW. GO OFTEN!

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57

The US´s popular fascination with rebel exploits is interesting, given that you guys are quite clearly the evil empire (and we Europeans your lackeys) in most real life scenarios.

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58

Redeem or Radicalize?

59

The Empire doesn’t use droids as soldiers.

60

The probe droid has offensive capabilities.