Make your own Alexa-controlled toilet


Originally published at:


“Computah. Earl Grey, steaming!”




But isn’t Alexa pretty insecure? What if hackers can determine if it’s number one or number two?


metadata about my precious bodily fluids :open_mouth:


What is the point of this crap? So I can flush away waste by talking to Amazon instead of pushing a lever like an animal?

Or is it all about the newest fad in health tracking, in which, in addition to giving robots authority to tell you when to stand and when to sit, you give them the power to monitor your poo and determine whether you’re having enough fibre today?

Either way, seems like a phenomenally shitty waste of time and money to me.


I’m good.


Now that’s what I call streaming!

Connections to sewers!


Internet of Shit.




Woah, woah, woah: it’s a toilet.



Very disappointed that the lid doesn’t flap up and down when speaking.


I confess a like the tech, but.

Alexa, clean the toilet
Parse audio
Analytics -> Update User Profile; email bulk toilet paper promotion
Response back to halfway the globe
Barely cleans the toilet

When your Netflix starts buffering for a while, remember it is just the World flushing the toilet.


Why is there a shower faucet next to the toilet?


It is also outside the tub, so you can mix your water without actually getting wet.


Seriously: WHY?

I’m flabbergasted.

My toilet works when the electricity is out, never mind the Internet!!!

Why would I want to settle for 99.0% uptime?


Because it’s there.


So you can get the benefits of Amazon analytics of your bowel movements.


Am I the only one who finds the “talking to machines” thing kind of creepy?