Man insists he is a dog, responds to "Boomer"


#1

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#2

It sounds like Gary Matthews, 48, has lots of fun wandering Pittsburgh, barking at cars and digging holes.

It sounds fun at first until you realize that if you become a dog then you can no longer eat chocolate.


#3

Yes, Pittsburgh is fucking strange. Yes, I’ve lived here for 22 years.


#4

Are species changes covered under the ACA? Gold plans maybe?


#5

Somehow, bizarrely but inevitably, the internet will spin this into evidence that anyone who likes depictions of anthropomorphic animals is a disgusting freak.


#6

My dog eats pizza too…so maybe he is a dog.


#7

Are we sure this isn’t just tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE?


#8

Matthew has never dated and has no interest in marriage or children. “I have good friends and I substitute friendship for anything closer than that,” he said.

SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS, people!


#9

If he isn’t a happy mutant, who is?


#10

I respond to “Cat”, among other nicknames; why shouldn’t he respond to “Boomer” if he likes it?

“Absolute is the right of any man to spell his name ‘Jones’ and have it pronounced ‘Smith’.”


#11

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