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Probably not the legacy he had planned.
alt-hosted here, it appears: http://www.zeroshare.info/
Holy guacamole! This is the most surreal thing I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t look away. He seems so rational and matter-of-fact, but then he records a conversation between his two alter egos.
It’s still a very rational conversation. It’s just a didactic method of laying out his inner debate and reasoning. I don’t think it’s evidence of any schizophrenia, if that’s what you’re suggesting.
It is so surrealy matter-of-fact. His last post on http://sportsinreview.com/blog/ explains why it’s his last post: “The reason for my departure is 100% within my ability to control. You see, earlier today, I committed suicide.”
Here’s an article about this – I don’t know why seeing a picture of his face changed my perception of him so much: http://blogs.mprnews.org/newscut/2013/08/ex-reporter-leaves-website-to-explain-his-life-and-death/
I also found it fascinating, but as will many stories that people tell themselves with out an editor, he buried the lead.
Before he died he decided he REALLY wanted to donate a working kidney. But the people who were at the local hospital dragged their feet for all sorts of reasons. Some are rational (they needed to get him checked out to ensure he would survive). But still he started this in January of this year. The started to talk to him about an Aug 25th date, but he had decided to go out on his 60th birthday. Finally at one point someone said, “It takes 6-12 months”
So instead he sent a note to people that when he dies to harvest his organs. Hopefully they will get there in time.
- And this might have been intentional, he also posted what some people think is a treasure map to his money.
THIS was taken seriously. And people raced to the location. (quote below with coordinates.) I don’t know the cost of a live kidney set up in advance is worth, but I guess we know that it’s less than 200,000.
I had no financial problems. I sold my house which was completely
paid for in 1998. The same year I bought $30,000 in 1/10 ounce gold
coins and pre 1965 silver coins. Gold was $300/ounce when I bought it
and silver was $4/ounce. Gold went up to $1,700 and Silver to $44
making my stash worth over $200,000.
38.800542, -94.687884
Yeah, if I was arranging a permanent legacy, I probably wouldn’t pick Yahoo as my publishing medium.
Looking at his “Why suicide?” page, it seems like he was one of those prepper folks hoarding gold and silver and preparing for imminent collapse of society:
Economic collapse is inevitable (see U.S Financial to the left). The
United States’ annual debt and cumulative deficit is way beyond the
“out of control” label usually associated with it. It’s spiraling into
oblivion and it will take society with it. […] I felt pretty good
about being prepared for economic collapse – the primary reason being
all the gold and silver I owned. But, then one day I realized that all
the gold and silver and guns and ammo and dried food and toilet paper
in the world wouldn’t prevent me from seeing the calamity with my own
eyes - either ignoring other’s plight or succumbing to it. And, that’s
something I decided I simply was not willing to live through.
…and elsewhere:
I can’t imagine going through another 911 attack. Since I expect
things to happen that will dwarf the misery of that day, I’m glad I
won’t be around to see them.
I kinda wonder how much Glenn Beck and Fox News he watched.
I’m a KC native - this was the talk of a lot of morning radio. The coordinates point to a location within the Overland Park Arboretum and Botanical Gardens (OP being a large KC suburb), and of course a number of people headed out there. Saw that they dispatched extra police to make sure people weren’t entering with shovels…
Honestly, most of it is hard to read, not because it’s heartbreaking, but because the guy sounds like he was a bit of a self-involved jerk, which I guess you’d have to be to create what is effectively a wiki about your own death. I feel bad that he’s dead, but the personality that comes across in his writing is fairly alienating.
“Frankly, the thought that my memory or legacy would come to an abrupt
end was unacceptable to me – and in my opinion, it should be
unacceptable to anyone in my situation.”
I have to say, I found that bit of his explanation to be a bit sad. Rational or not, he proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has no concept of what danger really looks like. I can see being paranoid about the economy. We are in uncharted territory in terms of our particular mix of internal financial institutions, worldwide financial institutions, and debt. If you are worried about an economic collapse, I might not be as fearful, but I won’t call you crazy.
Fear of terrorism and criminals though? Blah. We live in the safest and least violent time in recorded history. As an American, your chance of dying a violent death are so absurdly small* that it is barely worth consideration. Fear McDonalds, coke, corn syrup. The US could eat a 9/11 once a month and it wouldn’t budge our overall death rate and the actual damage would be pittance compared to one good hurricane.
As far as Sandy Hook, it is sad for sure, but irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It was an absurdly rare event that was a drop in the bucket in terms of overall child murder rates, and child murder rates are a drop in the bucket when put next to all the children not getting murdered. It is tragic to be sure, but it doesn’t say much about society other than that in a country of a few hundred million there exist a handful psychopaths.
Humans suck at risk assessment on the grand scale.
*Assuming that you are not dealing in drugs and/or living in a deeply impoverished area.
I can’t believe nobody referenced John Varley’s “Press Enter” on this.
He didn’t do the site, it was the AI he was tracking down that arranged his murder and created the suicide note/website.
It’s a wonderful story. I’m gonna have to dig out my copy again.
Here’s the first chapter…
http://www.e-reading-lib.com/chapter.php/72107/0/Varley_-_Press_Enter.html
Excellent point. So Pete Peterson and his 500 million dollar budget to push “The DEFICIT!” worked. If he had not bought into all the fear mongering at Fox and other source he might feel a bet less scared.
I can. I respect the guy’s wish for a post-mortem voice, but I would feel like a ghoul if I actually clicked that link.
McKenna chuckles. “The best answer I’ve gotten yet is out of Don DeLillo’s Underworld, where the nun discovers that when you die you become your Web site.”
Imagine a better version of the story: a man decides his life has no meaning or purpose so he decides to kill himself on a specific date and begins to write a manifesto about everything that matters to him - but in doing so finds purpose and meaning. He shares his writings, others are inspired, and the world starts to change. His scheduled suicide date passes uneventfully. Credits roll; heart-warming music plays. Based on a true story.
But we don’t live in that world. In this world, the manifesto is excruciatingly inane and useless, and the man does kill himself.
I got a 503 unavailable error.
Conformation that Yahoo deliberately took his web site down even though he’d paid in advance for hosting. So never host anything via Yahoo.
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