I don’t draw any conclusions from this. Why do people attribute a sex or gender to either person in the comic? Or to the internet whiners? How does one know which person in the comic is even the one who spoke? Maybe the one on the right spoke, and the one on the left is crying about it.
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And Off-Topic I think this topic richly deserves! I watch a lot of stand-up comedy specials on Netflix, and recently went through almost their whole collection of stand-up by women. I really liked Katherine Ryan (who you’ll see showing up on some of those quiz shows with Jimmy Carr because she lives in the UK). Another one I liked recently was Chelsea Peretti.
Of course comedy varies a lot by taste, so I’m not actually recommending these to anyone else, just saying I liked them.
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seriously … so much other more important stuff … here’s a pro-tip
having occasionally been accused of MS-ing when i really believed i wasn’t, or didn’t think i was but understand i could have been interpreted as having been, or was really trying not to and thought for sure i wasn’t, or a variety of other permutations, but generally getting along fine with just about everyone, i, for one, find this conversation interesting and useful - i’m not upset or anything, just conversing with my smart friends here - what i really didn’t need was you telling me it wasn’t important
huge irony: you pro-splained n-splaining
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Is that how you begin every sentence?
The cartoon doesn’t give us a whole lot of context. We don’t know what the guy said, he could be the one who painted the piece for all we know, or he could have read about it beforehand.
The cartoon doesn’t offend me, and I’m not defending mansplaining here, but everyone has a right to interpret abstract art how they want regardless of gender. If he was talking down to her then sure, he was in the wrong, but until we know what he actually said how can we really judge? If he did in fact paint it then she would be the one talking down to him al la “you don’t know what the painting means, despite the fact that you painted it!”.
If you believe men and women are equal, then it follows that they are equally capable of being assholes.
Bingo.
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I think this is one of those areas where men and women don’t quite understand that the other doesn’t process things they same way they do themselves.
Women tend to process things by verbalizing them, so they will ask questions intended only for themselves to think about. Men tend not to verbalize until after they’ve processed something- So guys don’t ask a question without expecting some sort of response.
And men tend more towards authoritative answers than women do- So the man sees it as a request for input, and delivers feedback in the way that he would respect if it were himself asking someone else. The woman sees it as a man butting into her personal headspace uninvited and acting like an expert in something he’s not qualified to weigh in on.
So, my big question is, what do people do in order to communicate better? Because there is a definite line between “stop doing that thing that bothers me” and “change yourself to suit my needs”, and at the risk of tossing a grenade into the conversation, I feel like feminists aren’t really aware of when they cross that line.
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I mean, the one piece of evidence it does give us the woman’s assessment of what was just said to her. I guess it’s in the eye of the beholder whether she is to be trusted to interpret that…
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I wonder if I should.
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Wow; that sentence structure, though.
At the risk of getting flagged yet again just for being snarky:
Sorry, but I’m not concerned with either your motivation for being here, or your “needs.”
And my comment wasn’t addressed to YOU personally. If you took it that way, it says way more about yourself than about me.
Good day.
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We see what you did there.
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Am I a know-it-all jerk? Yes.
But do I mansplain? No.
I always make it a habit to personsplain.
my comment wasn’t addressed to YOU personally
are you sorry if anyone was offended?
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I don’t see the if/then statement you’re referring to as ‘splainin. Maybe theorizin’?
To me, splainin’ makes authoritative and absolute statements, and that statement, in my estimatin’, isn’t either, and does not even appear to be false-binaryn’.
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I don’t see the if/then statement you’re referring to as ‘splainin. Maybe theorizin’?
this one:
And here’s a pro-tip for everyone out there who has ever been accused of “splaining” of any sort: if you can refrain from talking down to others in general, you can usually avoid being labeled as a such.
that’s not a splain?
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Nope, I honestly am not.
I like the portmanteau ‘condesplain’, which someone else used upthread; it’s so nice and inclusive.
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I want to see how many meta-layers of splainsplaining we can get before this topic closes.
I count at least three layers deep so far.
[BRAAAAM]
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I recently read a thing on the effort to get more women into STEM fields, and it mentioned something about how the lack of women in a particular field in and of itself often served as a deterrent to entering that field. It said that many women were reluctant to be the first one to break the barrier.
Most of the men I know would give their good arm to be the first person to do something. The same thing which would deter a woman would encourage a man.
So again with the question of where are men and women actually different and how do we get the desired result by working with human nature, rather than against it?
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Right. I can think of both women and men I’ve known who were condescending and patronizing, as well as people of either gender who’ve misinterpreted things said to them, or simply misheard what was said. So whose side do I take here? My instinct is to take her side, but for all I know that’s unfair to him.
granted, the then was implied.
so in my opinion, no. Not without a good long look at why something said in response to you, about a third party or situation, was actually about you personally and not about the situation or third party.
And when that is the case, in my experience, is not someone else’s dragon to slay.
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Eh, feminism aside, I think the only thing that anyone, myself included, can do is to stay open to all of the possible solutions to any situation resulting in miscomnunication. Depending on the day it might make more sense for a given individual to adjust their behavior on their own, or on another day, it might make sense to casually discuss the ongoing situation.
And even in that ideal scenario, there will still be miscommunications, as I remembered today.
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