I actually completely agree with this. While reading that part I kept hoping he’d add But those are no excuse. Instead he wondered allowed if they were why he abused people.
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Fair point, he should have added that, though he does reiterate repeatedly “I am part of the problem.” after that. If it was more polished and “prefect” would one assume it was more likely to be a PR stunt? I dunno. I feel like if I were doing this to preempt something, I’d write the first draft, and then someone who really knows this stuff to tweak it so I didn’t Spacey myself.
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I suppose one could make the case that he’s fearlessly confronting the monstrosities in himself and calling them out publicly in order to provide a template for these kind of abusive men to do likewise, as well as addressing the mental health and childhood sexual abuse issues which are stigmatized by our society and despite which propel and permeate the culture of toxic masculinity.
My other thought was he had caught some inkling of other women coming forward against him, so he’d beat them to the punch.
Sigh.
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I think the correct verbiage is “a gaping asshole” …
IOW
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Jesus. I wanted to try to give him some small amount of respect for actually owning up. But then he goes and writes “But why? What caused me to act this way?”
No. Just no. You know fine well that YOU caused you to act this way. You made conscious decisions to do so. Stop trying to pass it off as if you were just some helpless observer to the whole thing, indeed as if you are a victim as well. That’s one of the most pathetic things I’ve heard.
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This is a classic nopology. The pronoun “I” saturates this self-pitying, navel-gazing pile of deflection. Where’s the “I’m sorry”?
“I’m part of the problem,” sounds like we’re trying to collectively solve highway littering, not sexual assault. Howabout, “I’m a criminal, and invite my victims to come forward, and I will plead guilty” ???
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I get a sense that there is some sort of sexual parallel to the Dunning-Kruger effect, where people who behave this way assume that everyone else secretly wants to do the same sorts of things.
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There seem to be many predators and creeps who assume they’re the normal ones.
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I’m not entirely sure whose benefit this is meant to be for. I doubt it’s made anyone feel better about being on the receiving end of his bad behavior – if they wanted their story published, he’s presumably the last person they’d want telling it. If he’s trying to set an example for other men who have something to apologise for, that’s… well, I guess there are different ways to look at that. If it’s about managing his reputation, bleh.
I think it’s probably just a messy, hard-to-characterise public emotion burp.
Anyway, my overall feeling is this would be better kept between himself, his therapist and his putative victims. I’m not your confessor, dude, and public conversations aren’t necessarily about you personally.
Also: his career is based on a documentary where he claimed to be a health nut whose liver function was impaired by eating McDonald’s for a month, and now we learn he was actually an alcoholic that whole time. I’m getting strong vibes of that Jason Russell naked Kony 2012 breakdown thing.
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I stopped watching Super Size me when he threw in a parking lot after eating McDonalds for a few days, and chewed the scenery with gross over-acting.
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It’s just locker room talk.
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Wow, we are all really jumping to the worst possible conclusion here.
The incident he describes as possible rape is very ambiguous, as described by him. We literally have no way of knowing what actually happened without the other person speaking up. It is possible she was using a real awkward experience to illustrate a fictional situation. I am not wanting to defend him, but the point is that none of us actually know what happened except those two people, and it seems like he isn’t very clear either.
The harassment he describes is not ambiguous, and I’m glad his employee shut him down with that. It is certainly possible that it happened with more than one person.
But his serial infidelity? Shitty behaviour, but there are many people who do that and it doesn’t make them predators.
I do not want to leap to his defense, he doesn’t need it and very possibly doesn’t deserve it. I am however becoming very uncomfortable with the ‘trial by internet’ that is currently happening for many people. The US (and Canadian) legal systems are really crappy at handling sex assault cases and we need to find a way to do that better, without losing touch with the concepts of justice and ‘innocent until proven guilty’. An righteous mob can get it wrong, and is not the answer to our problem.
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I don’t think he presents this as a eureka moment. He mentions that he’s worried they’ll come for him.
… I don’t sit by and wonder “who will be next?” I wonder, “when will they come for me?”
That said, it’s easy to see our own thought processes as complicated, and other people’s as simple. I doubt he had a singular, simple thought going into this.
Most of his documentaries cover ethical issues, so maybe he did some soul searching, saw what he did was wrong, considered the potential benefits and risks, then decided to come forward.
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I get a feeling that in this case, it is simply reassessing his own actions. After all, it isn’t all that long ago that this was not considered abusive, but people would have said “bravo for keeping it in check.” Our attitudes have changed, our empathy has grown.
I feel it’s a good analogue is realising after patting yourself on the back on not actually committing assault and battery, you still were guilty of making threats and intimidation. It doesn’t make it right, but it does suggest that the person in question will be striving to do better.
I don’t want to jump on the condemnation pile because I don’t think it is logical. The logical thing here is to encourage better behaviour from this guy and also not to make others feel like coming clean will just get them ostracised. Our goal needs to be reducing abuse and making it easier to avoid being a jerk in the future.
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He also states that occurred to him when these women started coming bravely forward. Not before. That’s a moment.
Call the moment “insight” or “foresight” if you need to, and what is not described is empathy or shame. Just fear. He’s starting to get it. He has FEAR, after his insight. He now felt fear that he left others with. Eureka!
It’s just step one on what is usually about 12-steps to Wisdom.
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Eureka is a cry of joy when you suddenly discover something.
If you read his letter, it sounds like it’s been a process, and it’s not even slightly joyful:
You see, I’ve come to understand after months of these revelations, that I am not some innocent bystander
The brave people who’ve come forward have raised awareness on these issues. To suggest they’ve only spread fear and not awareness is to do them a disservice.
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Exactly. If anyone else is considering coming forward about their own actions, they’ll be watching this closely to see how it turns out for him.
I’m not saying he should be let off the hook, but it should be as easy as possible for people to come forward and admit their mistakes. It could make life easier for victims, and encourage others to fess up and try to improve.
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His statement is a NY male thing. I’ve seen this confession before.
If you want to be part of the of the solution learn and dedicate yourself to ethics. We finally have a practical use for philosophy.
I hate to say it but Mike Pence if partially right. People need to improve their decorum and focus on virtue.
