Mother’s Day roses that last 12 months? Yep. And they’re an extra 15% off now.

Originally published at:

if you’re going to get “REAL!” Fake roses why not just get actual fake roses, they’ll last a lot longer and probably are less labor/environment intensive in the long term.

Nevermind that they cost so much less then these embalmed roses that probably don’t last a third as long as advertised.


Yeah. I thought the last time these got posted the consensus was creepy and expensive.


Is it flammable?


Dead roses with the stems cut off - just the heads. Packed into a coffin-like box. Embalmed with wax and dyed a uniform fake looking color. Definitely creepy.

“Happy Mother’s day, Mom! I bought you a box of dead rose heads.”



The color on the fake roses will look more realistic, as will the stems, because the fake roses will come with stems and they’ll be green rather than have the entire flower be a uniform, fake red.


Thank god for COVID-19 - I was getting bored, they plug this stuff every year more or less the same way; this year they put a new spin on it!

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This again? Sheesh.

Yeah, the prices are pretty stunning. $69.99 for a single embalmed, dyed rose head in a cardboard box? And that’s the “discounted” price. Really? $69.99? WTAF.

A big part of the cost of roses, especially for peak seasons like Mother’s Day and Valentines Day, is the cost and risk of growing them en masse and transporting them fresh. These ugly, preserved rose heads can be grown and processed in the off season, and because they are nothing but dried rose heads they are dirt cheap to ship. So there’s no damn way they should cost $70 each.

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And you can’t even use the container to smoke crack afterward.

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Really, for that price BBS should at least include a free BBS Twisty Blunt.


“all preserved to stay fresh for one whole year” - this is a perversion of the word “fresh”, since these are dead, dried, dipped-in-wax then painted flower heads on fake stems.

Seriously, Boing Boing Store, if you don’t want criticisms and you don’t want people to speculate on your motives for crap like this, don’t carry crap like this - or at least be honest about what it is.

“Fresh” indeed. Ha. That’s like saying Lenin’s body is “fresh”.

You know how companies bury details in their fine print? Well, BB buries its criticism of Stack Social in the BoingBoing terms of service agreement† :

StackCommerce is our partner for selling stuff via the Store…We also lament the frequently cheesy copy in the advertisements.


† The BoingBoing terms of service agreement is actually a really good and very rare example of clear, plain English legal writing that took a very bold lawyer to write and/or approve

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