NASA seeks 'Planetary Protection Officer'


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I nominate Sigourney Weaver.


“Nuke it from orbit” doesn’t exactly scream “minimize human impact on local ecology.”


I am sure that the NASA official tasked with locating and tracking all potentially earth-threatening asteroids has an incredibly boring job title like “Director of the Office of Near Earth Object Orbital Characterization.” ONEOOC Director.


But what comes after Earth?


Could he be a captain?


Dress for the job you want, and wear this to the interview:



I know who NOT to nominate.


Perhaps he is “laying on hands” …?

“Metal fatigue, I rebuke you! Out, micro-fractures! Out, in the name of Jesus the Metallurgist!”


“Oh Lord, protect this rocket house and all who dwell within the rocket house.”


I’m just glad it’s not a cabinet-level position. Based on some of Trump’s other appointments, I’d hate to see who he might come up with…

46 PM


Is that the new head of Homeland Security, appointed to protect us from aliens?



This is why you do not use quotation marks on signs like that.


But, there’s like a five-second rule, right? if a contaminated spacecraft lands on a planet, but then takes again off within five seconds, no germs are transferred, right? We’re good, right?


Is this to protect the planet from Herr Cheeto Benito?


There are just no jobs out there for my skillset.


Is Gordon Freeman available? He has the scientific background, requisite clearances, and demonstrated expertise in dealing with Xenos incursions…

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