Nestlé launches new vegan shrimp called — wait for it — "Vrimp"

Shrimp-kin.

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Shirmp? Skimp? Skrimp?

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Skromp Shampee

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Crustaeshams.

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This is the problem that I have…

I eat meat (but, theoretically as one raised Buddhist, I really shouldn’t…), but it’s very hard to even come close to all of the factors that make meat meat. So, you end up with shitty tofurkey, soysages, and You’d better believe that it’s nowhere fucking near Bacon…

But… There are so many absolutely delicious vegetarian and vegan dishes that aren’t trying to be meat. I’d much rather eat a dish that screams “I’m a tasty plant dish” than “maybe if you’ve lost your sense of taste, you could believe that I’m meat”.

Maybe I’m just bitter from the time I accidentally purchased vegetarian breakfast sausages for a car camping trip. Nothing like little crap logs that you have to eat because that’s what you packed (when you were expecting fatty and calorie dense actual sausages).

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Pseudoshrimps?

Hell. Let’ s just tag them with the name Sean Tejaratchi came up with for shrimp in Liartown: Salty Pals

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I do think Beyond Meat BUT otherwise, I pretty much agree with this. Stop with Fake Meat and just make Good Food. Tofu always struck me as a disgusting meat substitute — but once I learned to enjoy tofu as tofy, I discovered it can actually be delicious!

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Seriously. Vegan diets are great (if you are able) but it’s also a good idea to avoid processed food, right? All these meat substitutes are the most heavily processed things imaginable. Something that starts at “peas” and ends up as…whatever that fake shrimp is… has been through every chemical and industrial process in the book. Why not just eat some nice peas?

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I mostly think of these meaty and fishy imitations as transitional food. If they’re good, and fairly close to what they’re imitating – and some really are – they can help some meaties/fishies realize that a meal without meat or fish can still be not only edible, but good.

I do know people who’ve become more amenable to meatless/fishless dining this way.

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This.

Tofu is good (he says, having been raised on Tofu), but it is what it is, and meat it aint.

Tofu is a great medium for other flavors, can be awesome for texture, whether you want silky or firm.

There are a lot of great flavorful tofu dishes, none of which involve re-shaping bean curd into animal shapes…

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