Originally published at: Nestlé launches new vegan shrimp called — wait for it — "Vrimp" | Boing Boing
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Fuck Nestle, assholes.
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Shrimp made from Vegans, sounds like a business opportunity.
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Is it still Kosher if you go out of your way to make it taste like the forbidden foodstuff?
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Good name for a Vegan Band.
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“Vrimp” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it.
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Well no, not English-speaking ones.
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I guess it beats the alternative portmanteau based on “plant-shrimp,” “pimp.”
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But seriously:
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They could’ve gone with Shr’mp, to go along with the “chik’n” and “be’f” vegan-friendly meat substitutes being made by Healthy Choice.
No, I’m not joking, their fake cow meat really is called “be’f”.
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yeah, I’m keeping an apostrophe-free diet, myself.
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No doubt Vrimp is to shrimp as Nestlé infant formula is to breast milk.
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But they don’t provide the recommended daily dose of essential vowels.
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This is not in any way a new thing.
e.g. https://gtfoitsvegan.com/product/vegan-imitation-shrimp-by-all-vegetarian/?v=7516fd43adaa
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Soylent Pink.
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As far as whether to eat it, i’ll use the other portmanteau of shrimp and plant: Shan’t
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“It’s not a shrimp! You stupid little thick-headed Saxon git!”
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Shimpossible?
Shrimpitation?
I can’t believe it’s not Shrimp?
Shramp?
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I don’t know, I’ve eaten a few vegans and I couldn’t really tell a difference. Now if they’d been eating a lot of asparagus? Yeah, that made a difference. 
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