Originally published at: New AI Chatbot app finally answers the question "What would Jesus text?" | Boing Boing
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Can we chat with the apostle Thomas? I doubt it.
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ChatGPT helped me solve a mystery I’ve been pondering for some time:
Assume a perfect sphere the volume of which is determined by a diameter determined by the outermost edge of Pluto’s orbit. Given that, and using this chart, it would take 5.54 x 10^41 kg of Helmann’s mayonnaise to fill that sphere.
ETA:
According to ChatGPT:
In practical terms, the volume calculated earlier is so immense that it’s beyond the current technological capabilities and resources available to produce mayonnaise.
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“I showed you my nail scars. Send nudes.”
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“Jesus says that he’s have been unable to deliver your package. Please click on this link to update your payment information.”
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The potential for comedy gold here is off the charts if true.
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Gives a new meaning to Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus!
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That’s honestly a really unimpressive output.
The dev’s screenshot makes it look like Cyber-Jesus is effortlessly stringing together an extemporaneous red letter edition in your DMs; but all @thomdunn’s screenshots show responses in exactly the same slightly vague, wordy, noncommittal-partial-restatement-of-the-question style that seems to permeate chatbot output; and definitely doesn’t match the style of any red letter edition I’ve ever seen.
This thing would take, say, Matthew 10:37 and end up at “Loving relationships with parents are commonly valued by people from many backgrounds and perspectives. Different societies and legal systems hold varying views on the relative importance of familial love and religious devotion. It is important to recognize that messiahs have promulgated a variety of worthiness requirements and discussion of salvation can be a sensitive topic.”
It’s just slurry.
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Jesus Christ, that is a long post.
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I was gonna leave it at kisser quoting from the app description, but I realized it wasn’t hard to actually try the damn thing and take some screenshots. Though, to be fair, I’m not sure that doing so added any value to the experiences or the post.
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My scrolling finger got a good work out; so, there is that. 
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Would that amount of material collapse on itself and form a mayonnaise star?
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I can see the oil being a problem; but surely the stack of turtles that supports the universe implies a supply of extraordinarily large eggs?
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Has anyone asked AI Jesus how to reconcile Matthew 19:23-26, Acts 2:44-45 and James 5:1-6 with Prosperity Gospel teachings?
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You know what other AI started out all nice and agreeable?
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It would form an event horizon at which deviled eggs would be served.
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Gross!
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Yeah, I don’t trust squat about math it does.
Considering how it mangled “what’s the side of a square that has a diagonal of 2” (yeah, yeah I was lazy), I don’t trust anything mathematical it generates.
ETA: Whoops, remembered it backwards.
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