Canon Jesus was way better than fandom Jesus

Originally published at:


So the New Testament and all subsequent commentary is basically Jesus fan-fic?

That actually makes a surprising amount of sense. Not least in that, like other fan-fic, each author seems to have his or her particular axe to grind, and the work taken as a whole shows signs of diverging rapidly and radically from whatever the {C/c}reator’s original intent might have been.

That would make the Council of Nicaea one of the first fan-run conventions, with a bunch of self-appointed 5th- or 6th-generation fans taking it on themselves to debate which parts of fandom should now be considered canon.

The story also shows signs of retconning. The original author evidently got sick of the whole project early on and killed off his main character, which created such an outcry that he was forced to bring him back.

And like other fandoms, it spawned derivative literature that began as fan-fic and then quickly acquired the status of independent work. Making “The Chronicles of Narnia” the Jesus fan-fic equivalent of “Fifty Shades of Grey” …

Hmm. Maybe we should stop this particular train of thought at this point.


I found this line of Biblical interpretation very compelling when I was a Christian. This was my Christianity.

Now, I am no longer a Christian, and so while I continue to like this interpretation better, I don’t think it’s appropriate or accurate to claim that this is “correct.” The right wing evangelical view of Jesus is constructed with some different hermeneutics. One can observe that a religious group will choose their hermeneutics based on how well they like the conclusions they allow them to reach, and one is observing nothing novel.

So it’s interesting as a religious studies scholar to inquire as to how each flavor Christianity constructs its Christ. As a Christian, one can definitely advocate for a particular Christ. As an atheist now, I feel very suspicious of appeals to in-group correctness regarding a group I am not in. I definitely don’t think the liberal Christ is any less a matter of carefully rationalized taste - carefully rationalized taste is the only game in town.




[quote]He may not have had a Y chromosome.[/quote]I think I first heard of this less than a year ago, and it strikes me as exceptionally odd. It ranks up there with saying the water-into-wine miracle is unfeasible because it required nuclear fusion. Are we supposed to believe this is a consequence of the immaculate conception, or something? Why not just say he had a ☼-chromosome for all that it matters?



I’ve got a problem with the lack of a Y chromosome, as well. If that were really the case, it would make Jesus a woman with Turner’s Syndrome.


I definitely interpreted it as a side effect of the immaculate conception. I don’t imagine that God has chromosomes, canonically, but Mary sure did.


reminds me of this boingboing post/bbs conversation from 2013…if only they knew how similar they are (actually maybe that’s why it gets so heated…)


It would be fairly noteworthy if YHWH didn’t have chromosomes. He’s got all the other parts a man has (and an extra rib, too). That’s part of his schtick.



Wil shared it, but credit for the funny should go to scarlettohairdye -


Jesus and his particular dogma vs the established Jewish religion (and other ones) is odd. Early Christians were essentially commune hippies in the best sense of the word, and were all about loving one another, helping those in need, not focusing on material things… and then compare it to the religious narrative you see in the old established religions. Their God was a vengeful one, demanding sacrifice, violence, and servitude.

It’s also interesting to see how Christianity later evolved over the centuries to add more and more aspects of established religions in order to appeal to more people and to convert them. In their current form the true message of Jesus is lost in all the rules and structure that people have to follow in order to be a “good christian” as they define it.


So far, Jeremy Davies as Jesus Prime (among every conceivable variation by every sect) on the American Gods season final is the most fun portrayal short of South Park.


I’m a fan of this one


Quote mining the bible to support one’s preconceived notions… Even that doesn’t bother me as much as the idea that the entire universe was created as a sort of “trick question” to fool you into damnation if you don’t follow one very particular flavor of religion that you might never have even been exposed to. Is not creation itself the word of god made real? Isn’t it as worthy of study (although as capable of being misinterpreted by fallible humans) as the bible?


I think the idea is that if he had no human dad, the conception would have been by something like parthenogenesis. Which is not known to occur naturally in people, or even mammals generally. It would have resulted in two X-chromosomes. If a Y got in there somehow without human intervention, that would have certainly required a miracle.


John Scalzi’s piece, “What My Jesus Would Do” is always good to bring out in a pinch


Immaculate Conception means that Mary was born without having original sin.

The Virgin Birth means that Jesus was born without Mary having sex.


Evangelicals would be lined up to praise the Romans for their law’n’order agenda