New hedge-fund HQ will have "Champagne" buttons for the traders' desks


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/07/09/bootlickers-for-fragile-titans.html


#2

i guess a booze button works better than speeches


#3

If they weren’t such losers the button would have a White House valet deliver a glass of Coca-Cola instead. SAD!


#4

It’s the “built to last 100 years” that exposes this as a scam, really. The foot soldiers are merely being taken for a ride themselves; the greedy con men are the easiest to con.


#5

It sounds like the stupid toys and perks that companies were throwing at programmers, just before the dot.bomb, to encourage them to die at their desks. (Come to think of it, they still do that here and there.)

All this fluff is to distract the peon traders while the real money goes somewhere else.


#6

I remember those days, and coming to the realization that the extra $$ at the time wasn’t worth my current guarantee of going home at 5pm every day, knowing I will have the weekend off, etc.


#7

What’s the point of lots of money if you don’t have time to spend it? Or time for anything else that isn’t expensive for that matter, like just laying in the grass reading a good book.


#8

“Champagne” buttons for the traders’ desks

What no “champagne popsicles”? http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/29/politics/ivanka-trump-champagne-popsicle-twitter-memorial-day/index.html


#9

Why do I have a sudden sick feeling that I need to sell off all my stocks tomorrow?

Ha! I’m kidding! I don’t own any stocks.


#10

It reminds me of all those wonderful services BoingBoing sells “lifetime memberships” to, which seem to have a 2-year haf-life. What’s the life expectancy of a hedge fund? If you say 100 years, you’ve been sold something amusing.


#11

It’ll be right in between the existing “Hookers” and “Blow” buttons.


#12

Meh, it’s not illegal. If you really don’t like the excess wealth being extracted from the financial sector, don’t blame the traders, End the Fed.


#13


#14

A: "I get to drink Champagne at my desk at work!!"
B: “I get to drink sparkling wine with my friends at home.”


#15

The correct answer is always B.


#16

You are, of course, correct. The money spent on this won’t be spent on other forms of compensation. But for many groups, these sorts of frills are more attractive to employees than the cost. (Not often, it’s amazing how often people would just prefer a higher paycheck to a Christmas party or higher dental benefits.)

If they can spend a few thousand per employee to provide this and pay the hedge funde managers $30-50K less, then everyone’s happy. The employees who choose to work there feel ‘special’ (and pay for the privilege) and those who don’t get paid more.

Personally, I bet this will be discontinued within the year (or the first time the dumbwaiter breaks and no-one cares). The hedge fund workers I’ve met were a pretty serious bunch.

As for champagne - well, my geek workplace provides free coffee, and I appreciate it far more than champagne. If champagne is what those workers want, they can have that. It’s all coming out of our paychecks one way or another.


#17

This is in London, the money laundering and dubious financial services capital of Europe and beyond the reach of the Fed.


#18

Please tell us more, O Paladin of the Invisible Hand…


#19

The average fund survives 3-5 years. However, that’s largely driven by the extraordinarily high rate of attrition amongst the newest funds.


#20

Ahhh, the excesses of market tops. We’ve been here before:

  • 125% Loan to Value mortgages granted to unqualified buyers
  • Hustlers with no college degree making 75K a month bundling mortgages
  • Icelandic banks being worth more than 10 times the GDP of Iceland
  • A small group of investment bankers spending 10K on dinner
  • Small tech companies with $0 sales offering a company car to all employees
  • Japan spending ridiculous prices for NY real estate in the late 80’s
  • Wall Street raiders in the 80’s using junk bonds to buy out huge companies at large premiums
  • Tulip bulbs selling for more than a year’s salary