Nirvana playing 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' one week before it was released (1991)

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That quote from the book-- ugh. Is the whole book that way? A long slog through endless attack and intrusion and invasion into Kurt’s psyche? No thanks.

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Being successful and making a living at what one loves is everyone’s dream, but becoming famous that is something else entirely and has a heavy price attached to it. Don’t think i could handle fame either considering how anxious i am with my regular life.


Oh, I’m famous. how did that happen? I didn’t want this… completely caught me off guard. woe is me.

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Ahhhh. . . the Blue Moon Tavern. I loved that joint.


I lived a mere 15 minute bike ride away at the time and I don’t remember this happening. I probably knew about it (because back then I listened to the best radio station that has ever existed, KCMU, and undoubtedly they announced it) but I bet it never occurred to me to try to go or maybe I had to work.

But I do regret not seeing more bands back then. I liked most of the music of that scene and could see it was exploding, but, for whatever reason, just never got around to going to too many shows.


I saw them on Haight Street when they played in the record shop. It was packed.
Good times.

Nirvana came out of the second wave of punk rock, which was very into “do it yourself” and very against “selling out.” The people in it were supposed to have day jobs. Trying to “make a living off the scene” was considered a kind of parasitic betrayal. It was a completely different relationship to business and money than today’s Millennial entrepreneurs. Cobain was deeply immersed in this subculture and he was never able to shake off the feeling he had done something wrong.

Smells like teen spirit, always hits me with nostalgic sadness, i am tearing up right now, i guess i was just born at the right time, 1980 for this sort of stuff to hit me in the feels, thou when this came out i would have been 11, and i prob did not start listing to this till i was more like 16, and did not really go out and drinking till i was 18 (In the uk most start at 16) and wound up at the Krazey house, and found my self in the sort of place i could go out alone, and know every one there, and a proper connection with a place and people, i dont think i will ever have again, Where i could kiss all the straight girls and knew all the lesbian ones, and every one had issues, including me (My ASD would not be diagnosed till i was 35, cos i am so good at hiding it) It was just an amazing free time when i lived for Thursday and Friday nights, Saturday was ok, but to main stream, and then i found out about place like le, bateau and more grown up alt scene as i grew, but i did not have the community feeling of The Krazey House, It shame, those places have gone and will never come back, they will be something new and mean something to the people who followed and inhabit them now, i have been back to the Krazey house but at first it was the place people my age took their kids to relive their youth and then it reopened as pure student bar, it wont be the place i sang freak on leash to, or the place when the new dj came on and played a bad song, we would all sit on the floor till he changed it, there was no new music allowed on the “satanic devil worshipping” floor as it was called, tongue in cheek by people who did not get it, back then it was only two floors, now 3, but the 1st floor was ours, and semi normal people, any one with out 9 feet of chain and baggier jeans or all dressed in black, went up stairs again to the 2nd floor and listened to the less intense tunes, more main stream stuff, or to play pool as that’s where all the pool tables where.

Now its just a commercial bar that makes money and lacks soul, but then i am just an old man full of reminisce, what, do i know…

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