“Old/New,” short film narrated by comedian Patton Oswalt


#1

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#2

He’s hosting the Visual Effects Awards today…


#3

Oh God. Rhymes? I lasted less than a stanza.

Guys, Dr Seuss already did a book about hipsters.


#4

Ending is better than mending. The more stitches, the less riches.
Damn hipsters not supporting the economy.


#5

Brilliant! Now I cant but talk in rhymes!
It´s a rare condition I have sometimes.

If someone please could find a cure,
I would be quite grateful I assure

Screw this short film, screw this noise,
Screw Patton Oswald, screw his voice!


#6

Yes, really, they’re rhymes, I enjoyed every stanza
And then at the end, appeared Tony Danza!

I kid, didn’t happen; but the story was swell,
And… a bit sentimental; all’s well that ends well.

But I admit that I cried, or at least started to tear
(It’s a condition I have at this time of year).


#7

But oh in this age of god-awful marketing
With made up dumb words and tangential laser targeting
How everyone tries to throw the perfect spiral
With hopes that every video will surely go viral

They hawk their bad products, and bad jargon debonaire
To a bored and numb audience, and nobody cares
But they continue to spew all this vomitous nonsense
With arrogance, stupidity and simply no substance

But one group I know, you’ll claim does it all wrong
“The name of the product’s not in the theme song”
But thank god for this crew, who remains so defiant
A group of filmmakers at lil ol Red Giant


#8

Pretty sure that is Mark Frauenfelder in the GIF screencap. I fully expect a review of that mug in an upcoming Cool Tools.


#9

Almost thought it should be called Birth of a Hipster, then the ending came. Not bad.


#10

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