Olive Oil lies

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The only problem with olive oil is it tastes like ass. The hierarchy of fats are as follows:

Beef fat
Coconut oil
Grape seed

(Ten thousand more)

Whale blubber
Olive oil


I’m concerned about the origin of your olive oil.


BTW, for heathens like you that enjoy that vile substance, you should write an article on the traditional ways of extracting olive oil. It is a pretty cool process :smile:

Q: Why did the satanist pour a bottle of olive oil on the altar?
A: He needed an extra virgin sacrifice.


I think its a bit odd that she dismisses other grades as bland, processed (which must be evil!) industrial product. Only the recommend other neutral oils instead. How exactly does she think those other oils are produced? (the answer is Hexane) Pure olive oil is fine for what its intended as, a more neutral tasting cooking oil than extra virgin. If you want even more neutral pick something else.

And there are plenty of good quality cans of extra-virgin olive oil available at your supermarket that won’t break the bank. They tend to actually cost a bit less per ounce than the purportedly “fancier” oils in bottles on the same shelves (which are usually crap). You’re just buying a lot more of it in one go so the price tag itself is higher. I typically spend about $15-$25 bucks for a can that’s about a gallon. When there’s a sale you can find it for like $10. Portuguese oil in particular tends to be good quality for cheap (because Portugal is broke as hell right now). The more expensive/artisinal/higher quality stuff is great, but it doesn’t make sense to use it as a day to day cooking oil.

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This is all fine and dandy, but the prices are a bit too much for me. So I only use it on rare occasions and then it’s so old it tastes terrible.

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I’ve had good luck with California Olive Ranch. It appeared on a list of " good oils" and at the time, I thought it superior to the generic I had been getting. Perhaps I should be more skeptical, more often, though. It makes a difference when making pesto, the taste of which I acquired when pine nuts weren’t priced as luxury goods.

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Pistachios are a common substitution for the pine nuts in pesto. Also cheaper pine nuts (at least the ones I ran into) are often Chinese in origin, and I hear tell that Chinese species are the ones that cause your tongue to go all funny. I’ve never had the pine tongue. But it might be best to avoid cheap as shit pine nuts anyway.


I know you will mock me for this, but I also like to use cashews. Great mouth feel.

It just occurred to me, if you want any food related guest articles let me know. I write for free.


nah I’ve seen it done with tahini too. Easier than sesame seeds alone because you don’t need to deal with hulls. Once you figure out that its basically using nuts to emulsify pretty much any nut or nut butter makes sense. Seen a lot of walnut pestos lately.

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pine tongue can fuck off


Never had it. I’ve had pipe tongue. And Chef ass. But those are different.


I really like California Olive Ranch! I lucked out last year when Costco was selling the big bottles of their “Miller’s Blend” for cheap.
And I kind of miss pine nuts in my pesto, just not enough to spend $20/lb on the darn things. I’ve been subbing walnuts or pumpkin seeds instead.

You forgot to put duck fat somewhere near the top position. Nommmmm!


I suspect you have never actually eaten whale blubber. I have, and I can tell you there are another 10,000 substances between olive oil and whale fat, and whale fat is definitely far, far below. Imagine the fishiest fish you’ve ever eaten, then try to imagine something 10 times fishier. Then imagine that taste as a chewing gum. That’s whale blubber.


Bleh. Must be definitely an acquired taste.

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See, there is this thing called willful hyperbole…

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Salmon fat
Duck fat
Beef fat

Olive Oil
Canola Oil

Rancid seal fat
Coconut Oil