Once again: Crypto backdoors are an insane, dangerous idea

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The cryptographers should turn tables and claim that the problem is maybe it’s the police forces who aren’t trying hard enough, not the cryptographers. They could point out that on the TV shows, they’re able to decrypt AES-256 encrypted hard drives in about two hours.

Maybe the FBI, CIA, and NSA are using that fingerprint matching software that the TV shows use…y’know, the one that needs to display all fingerprints side by side, and can take hours to find a match…instead of using every other pattern matching database out there, which would hash the fingerprint features and search all the indices in about a hundred of a second.

Minkia! Even using DBaseII with a binary search running on an old XT would be faster than THAT software.


Since I’m totally a Good Guy, does this mean that I can use the backdoors into the computers belonging to these people and rewrite all of their files to display the following?


In case a bank employee goes into the vault to do something illegal (steal from a safe deposit box, for instance) the police need a back door into the vault. I propose that back door be made of wood, to make it easier for law enforcement to enter even if the employee takes measures to block the door. What could possibly go wrong with that plan?


It’s like legally requiring people to keep a spare key under the doormat.


Lots of gross euphemistic horseshit surrounding mainstream discussion of crypto lately. I’m reminded that Dan Geer accused Dianne Feinstein of peddling “soothing mendacity” when she said “this is just metadata”. Ditto Obama, ditto the entire Washington Post editorial board, ditto lots of uncritical goobs the world over, it seems.

Golden Keys. Yes, the entity with a monopoly on force (in principle, anyway) needs GOLDEN KEYS.

All my ugh.

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Oh, just now? They’ve been full of bad ideas for a while now. It often amazes me that people who can generate a decent paper can be so fucking stupid.

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