Oxford study says just shake hands, don't kiss strangers

Papasan · October 28, 2015, 1:39pm

Body condom!

Vert · October 28, 2015, 1:46pm

It seems they surveyed people outside the UK. From the Telegraph article:

Unexpectedly Italians were less comfortable with being touched than Russians, while overall Finns were the most comfortable.

(Dorsal Finns or pectoral? Heyyyoooo)

crashproof · October 28, 2015, 1:47pm

I am fine with, with the exception of my spouse, the awkward half-wave and dubious facial expression, or hands-in-one’s-own-pockets " 'sup", or subvocalized grunting while looking off in another direction.

WearySky · October 28, 2015, 1:47pm

Understatement of the century, right there.

ChickieD · October 28, 2015, 2:20pm

I have a friend who is a trans woman. She transitioned late in life. We know each other through our temple, and since she has no car, I have sometimes driven her to events and, naturally, we ended up spending the event together as well. I’ve been a member much longer than her, so I am better acquainted with everyone, but it has been interesting to observe how even though the men are very nice to her, they are reluctant to touch her at all, whereas with me they lean right in for a kiss or a hug. And I notice that unlike most of my female friends, when I drop her off at her house she doesn’t lean over and expect a hug and I can’t quit figure out how to do it because she’s not open to it.

I wonder about how it affects her, this expectation that she will not be touched. I don’t thinks she even really sees what is happening at a conscious level.

strangefriendbb · October 28, 2015, 3:38pm

Some dogs won’t do that.
Which gave rise to the expression: “That dog won’t cunt.”

cah · October 28, 2015, 3:42pm

Going by the charts? Dorsal.

anon23281680 · October 28, 2015, 3:45pm

Are you close enough to ask her about a good-bye hug? She might prefer this imposed physical isolation, some people just aren’t touchers, but probably not. She probably just got used to people being way too uncomfortable if she initiated anything or she is quite naturally wary of touching others, given all the shit transgender people catch.

anon23281680 · October 28, 2015, 3:47pm

Yeah… and the owners get soooo embarrassed. I just gently push a dog’s snout away from that area and then distract them with ear scratches.

agger_modspil · October 28, 2015, 3:58pm

Tell that to people in Brazil!

Vert · October 28, 2015, 4:03pm

Touché!

…or not touché. That is the question.

jyoti · October 28, 2015, 4:23pm

Kinda off-topic, also kinda directed @LDoBe and @Michael_Whisman : I don’t have any proof nor figures to back my hunch, but have a strong feeling that lack of any human contact at least contributes to high suicide rates in teenage males. From what I’ve observed, once they get to that grunting adolescent stage, unless they’ve got a boy/girlfriend, they get very little physical contact, even from parents. Although perhaps they get incidental contact if they play sports?

So to bring it slightly back to topic, perhaps if they were raised in cultures where hugging and/or cheek-kissing was more common, their suicide rates could be lower.

Thoughts?

anon23281680 · October 28, 2015, 4:27pm

A study of suicide rates of teenage males in cultures that both have that kind of continual contact and those that do not would be really interesting.

anon26940528 · October 28, 2015, 4:35pm

I’m concerned about the resolution in the charts: Based on that it looks like it’s more okay to touch one boob than the other.

Missy_Pants · October 28, 2015, 4:36pm

Not off topic I don’t think… I thought it had been long reconized that teenagers in general were “touch-deprived”.

This came up on my first google search:

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Violence and touch deprivation in adolescents.

T Field, Adolescence, Winter 2002

The increasing incidence of violence among children and adolescents highlights the importance of identifying at-risk profiles as well as assessing interventions for preventing violence. Empirical research has suggested behavioral, central nervous system, and neurotransmitter/neurohormone dysregulation in violent individuals, including (1) an underaroused central nervous system characterized by right frontal electroencephalogram (EEG) hypoactivation, and (2) a neurotransmitter/neurohormone profile of lower norepinephrine, serotonin, and cortisol, and elevated dopamine and testosterone. The literature also suggests a disproportionate incidence of physical abuse and neglect or the lack of positive physical contact in violent individuals. In the studies we have conducted to date, there has been a relatively high incidence of anger and aggression in high school samples, even those that were relatively advantaged, as well as high levels of depression (one standard deviation above the mean), suggesting significant disturbance in these youth. Adolescents with these profiles also had less optimal relationships with their families, used illicit drugs more frequently, had inferior academic performance, and had higher depression scores. In our cross-cultural comparisons, preschoolers and adolescents were less physically affectionate and more aggressive in the United States versus France. Further, the U.S. youth received less physical affection as preschoolers, and as adolescents they engaged in more self-stimulating behaviors, perhaps to compensate for receiving less physical affection from their parents and peers. This supports the notion that less physical affection (or more physical neglect) can contribute to greater aggression. Massage therapy has been effective with violent adolescents, perhaps because the physical stimulation reduced their dopamine levels and increased their serotonin levels. Their aggressive behavior decreased and their empathetic behavior increased. These preliminary data need to be replicated in a larger sample with a more comprehensive set of measures in the context of identifying a diagnostic profile.

I used to work at a massage college (and I so miss the regular massages), as massage is a regulated health service in Ontario the program had a comprehensive ethics component that mostly focussed on the emotions of clients and how to manage that (also no dating/sexing clients allowed!). Crying during massage is commonplace. People tell their RMTs super personal things, break down on the table, have intense emotional releases, and the theory is: we are all touch deprived. (And everyone should get regular massages!)

anon34812172 · October 28, 2015, 4:37pm

THANK YOU, that reminds me to set an appointment. You are so right about that.

lanika · October 28, 2015, 4:39pm

Hear this sound? It’s the sound of 200 millions of Brazilians laughing at this research.

Boundaries in intimacy are cultural. Biased research is biased.

daneel · October 28, 2015, 4:43pm

This is not selling me on the concept of massages.

Missy_Pants · October 28, 2015, 4:44pm

It’s not a requirement. You don’t have to cry. Just if you do, know they’ve been trained to handle your emotional outbursts.

daneel · October 28, 2015, 4:46pm

I just find massages/spas etc dull. Being ‘pampered’ is just boring. I get nothing out of it.

I’d rather be left alone with a book.

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Oxford study says just shake hands, don't kiss strangers

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