Pepsi plans to use cubesats to display ads in the night sky

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/04/14/srsly-fuck-this.html

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This will spur development of hobby DIY anti-satellite weapons. (The effort spearheaded by all ground-based astronomers!)

At least they’re not messing with the Moon.

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What, you didn’t think you were ever going to get thirsty in the off-world colonies?

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I hope someone hacks them so they make a giant dick instead

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Fuck you, Pepsi Co. I will go out of my way to never use your products.

Is there anything humans won’t ruin?

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Do we get to deface the homes of the Pepsi Board and CEO?

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Time to organise a boycott of all Pepsi.

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Coca Cola has an opportunity to generate enormous brand goodwill by launching hunter-seeker satellites to kill these things.

begunthecolawars

Corporations are people, my friend. Looks like homo sapiens was so focused on not blowing each-other up that we left the other issues at the side until it was too late.

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Let the PepsiCo CEO & Chair know your thoughts.

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How about if we set up industrial mercury lamps outside their homes and shine them through their windows at night?

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It’s a great start!

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In one of the novelizations of the Red Dwarf series, the Cola Wars have escalated so far that the Coca-Cola company charters spacecraft to seek out and detonate specific stars across the galaxy so that from Earth’s perspective the light of the supernovas spells out the advertising slogan “COKE ADDS LIFE!” across the sky.

I guess this is a more economical way of achieving that effect, but it still feels like I’m living in a cheesy 1980’s sci-fi writer’s timeline.

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I hope these are very temporary satellites or the sky mythology of the neo Dark Age will be pretty weird.

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This made me really angry, and I even teared up a bit. The openness of the night sky and marvelling with wonder at the vastness of the universe is part of what keeps me inspired and able to cope with the claustrophobic bombardment of messages and functions of late-stage capitalism all around me.

This is shameful, and I hope it never comes to fruition.

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Heinlein wrote this story over half a century ago: The Man Who Sold the Moon.

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Hey, they even got advertising on Boing Boing, and all they had to do was pay a particularly stupid-sounding Russian guy to call some lazy asshole at a bullshit “science” blog.

[Sigh]

This thread is rapidly causing me to lose what little faith I had left in humanity.

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They are probably less dangerous than the ones who think that financial services is the true heart of the economy; but the sheer obnoxiousness of someone who thinks that advertising is at the heart of the economy just makes you want introduce them to ‘industry’, ideally via the grinders of some suitably large and impressive bit of process equipment.

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I can assure you, we most certainly are.

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Was this published April 1st? This will never happen. The Russian startup will disappear into the night sky and Pepsi will never utter another word of this ‘plan.’

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