Person driving on shoulder receives instant justice

Originally published at:


OK Computer
Track 6


Best one I ever saw: driving along in a surface street lane to the right of which was another permanently backed-up lane leading to a freeway on-ramp; Mr. Shortcut in his Mercedes cuts me off from the left and then immediately proceeds to try it again to get in right where the on-ramp begins; as I gave him a quick dirty glance I had a front-row view of his slamming hard into the back of someone who had to stop short. So much for all that time he was “saving” with his dangerous and crappy driving.


Why that very thing happened to me once, when I was a lad. Traffic wasn’t moving, and my exit was just up ahead. Unfortunately, Officer Friendly didn’t agree that a quarter mile is “just up ahead.”


I once witnessed a Lamborghini race out of a T stop on the green light. Little did he know there was a cop stopped on the red. Insta-justice was swift.


The person doing the recording should also have received instant justice for distracted driving. Put down your fucking phones people. Before you kill someone. I know… “Blah, blah blah…he wasn’t going very fast”.


Not going very fast? He was barely moving!


My father has decided that this is acceptable now that he’s retired. He claims that if he ever gets a ticket it’ll be cheaper than his loss of time in his twilight years. He used to be the most civilized and respectful person I know.

Sometimes you think you know a person…


Missed opportunity for an “Instant Kar-ma” tag, @beschizza.


I once ran into a city bus going all of 20 mph. Traffic was slow, and my toddler was tired of being in the car seat and chucked a book at my head. The 5 seconds of distraction was long enough for the bus to stop and me to …not.

Still managed to total my car at that speed.


I was driving my Mini Cooper, one of the original ones that’s about ten feet long, on the freeway with my son in his car seat. Traffic started to bunch up and a woman in raised Suburban began tailgating me, like there was a place to change lanes and I should get out of her way. My son was getting freaked in the back seat, her headlights were above the roof of my car. I glanced to my right out of the rear side window, and there was a motorcycle cop five lanes over. He looked my way and our glances must’ve merged, he whipped across those five lanes and lit her up. I know that instant karma satisfaction.


I have legitimately seen people pull some shit on the road that was incredibly obvious like speeding, illegal turns, unsafe driving by cutting people off, etc. and in front of cops and very rarely have i seen them pull them over. Once in a blue moon i do see some idiot get pulled over though, last one was a month or two ago some guy was speeding and weaving across traffic on an interstate. 5 minutes later i see them pulled over by a state trooper.


One time I saw a pair of cop cars on the other side of a bridge, just sitting there. I was waiting to turn left on the street to head home (it was late at night).

Waiting my turn, I hear a noise, and a pair of newish looking Porsches come roaring over the hill, racing each other, well over 100mph. Except for the hill, it was a decent spot, since it was over a mile to the next traffic light, and not busy late at night.

They tear past the cops, who calmly after waiting a few moments drive off down side streets.

My only conclusion is that the cops were friends with the Porsche drivers and were radioing the traffic situation to them since they couldn’t see over the hill.


Those cops who rarely pull over idiot drivers were just waiting for my sister and her husband to come along. It’s only a matter of time before there’s a YouTube channel for dashcam videos JUST OF THEM!

“Exit 26 – Hospital”


Blah blah blah. Like I expected. When something weird is happening on the road, it is the very worst time to reach for your phone a fumble for the video function. The speed is irrelevant.


The driver making the recording does something in this video that I find very vexing. Like a primal, uncontrollable neanderthal urge, the SECOND some space opens up ahead of him (when the cop half-pulls into the shoulder) he mindlessly closes the gap. Now, the cop can’t reverse back into the space he just occupied, should he need to.

(Pet peeve as my daily route home includes a T-stop junction with poor left-right visibilty from the upright. You need to stop at the line, then mosey forward carefully a couple of times checking both sides. Occasionally, you end up with your nose protruding a bit much and an oncoming car… but OF COURSE you can’t back up because the guy behind you is ultra-efficiently minimising his commute time by squeezing into every frickin’ centimetre you open up, the instant if becomes available, like nature abhorring a vacuum a something…)


I think most people are simply oblivious in some parts of their lives. My ex wife would drive down the road with her wipers on when windsheild was dry, stuttering and flopping back and forth for miles.

It’s entirely likely the close follower behind you has had the exact same experience as you, but yet never had the idea to minimize that issue for others the next time.


I vaguely recollect reading something about how driving with a child in the car is about as dangerous as driving while intoxicated, and that makes sense…


She was pretty much Houdini at that age. She managed somehow to climb out of her crib before she could even consistently walk. And there were a few months where we’d be driving down the freeway and I’d hear “Don’t be mad mommy” and look in my rearview mirror to see her standing on the carseat. To this day I don’t know how she always managed to get out of the damn thing; I had multiple people check the seat to make sure it was working properly.

And it was always on the stretch of freeway that had no exits for 7 miles, so I’d have to pull onto the shoulder to get her back in it.