Person sues Kellogg's claiming strawberry Pop-Tarts didn't have enough strawberries inside

Originally published at: Person sues Kellogg's claiming strawberry Pop-Tarts didn't have enough strawberries inside | Boing Boing

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Hey, she must be out, what, two bucks! The outrage…

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You mean there actually are SOME strawberries inside strawberry Pop Tarts? Huh.

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Well, seek elsewhere, ‘cause pop tarts ain’t it.

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Just like FoxNews had to admit that Tucker Carlson isn’t meant to be viewed as disseminating facts to get a lawsuit dismissed, Kellogg’s can quite easily dismiss this suit under the premise that no one really believes that even “whole grain” pop tarts are are healthy. I’m sure they wouldn’t lose any sleep doing it either.

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They would be better off with whole wheat toast and some preserves.

As an adult I do still eat a lot of PBJ, but I spoil myself with the pricier jelly/preserves.

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It’s a strawberry pop-tart, not a strawberries pop-tart.

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I can’t quite imagine what kind of boring life a person must lead to look forward to eating whole grain Pop Tarts and considering it a “healthy indulgence.” She might want to color outside the lines and invest in a bag of kale chips, or Fruit Stripe gum.

two prior suits regarding strawberry Pop-Tarts represented by the same attorney

Did this attorney suffer some sort of trauma involving strawberry Pop-Tarts?

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So the attorneys will get $3.8 million in fees, and the plaintiff’s class will get a 25cent coupon for Pop Tarts.

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Naive question. Do people actually put pop tarts in their toaster? Seems it would get a little sticky.

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image

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To this day, 25 years later, our daughter won’t put a pop tart in the toaster because when she was home alone at age 10 she started a fire when she put a frosted pop tart in the toaster. The neighbor saved the day but lessons were learned.

I on the other hand love toasted cinnamon pop tarts but I’m not allowed to eat them often because everyone knows they are not a healthy treat.

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There’s not really enough frosting or gunk inside to be messy. The toaster softens them up, possibly crisping the edges. Still unhealthy and lame, but I consider it an improvement over their raw form.

Looking for a nutritious and delicious strawberry-based snack? With your permission may I recommend literal strawberries? They’re even available frozen at the Dollar General in case you live in a food desert.

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Dumb shit like this is a nice pretext for corporations to lobby for binding arbitration in lieu of a trial by jury. If the ingredient list is accurate, then they can call it whatever the fuck they want (unless it violates someone’s trademark or something). The sad thing is that they might settle for a few grand just because it is cheaper than paying their lawyers to stomp this out.

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REMOVED Video of toaster on fire from YouTube.

I removed it because I was not aware that it would ask for age restriction inputs from users. I thought it was widely available.
One of many, just search, if you want to see others. It is not very interesting except the flames can reach much higher than you would expect.

If the toaster does not pop, the sugars ignite. You can make a rocket motor out of sugar. The effect is similar.

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I’m going to sue Prince’s estate because the song “Raspberry Beret” contains no actual raspberries.

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Since this age restriction is a scam to get me to register a credit card with Google, just no.

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My Baby Ruth bar was full of peanuts, WTF!

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Some light reading for those wondering how this would fly in the UK.

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