I agree both of these statements. There can be value in very gently asking someone to reconsider their words. A flag-and-removal can be taken as “I’m being punished, unfairly, by the impersonal system” which people may not learn from. It’s impersonal. Giving someone a chance to re-do their words can be a lesson. I do think that when someone sees a long-time Leader or Regular (not involved in the conversation) very gently caution someone to take a step back, it can have weight.
And, I agree–this is an approach that doesn’t always work.
