I want to know who the hell put this Hippie Christ in Christmas?
The new pope talking about Hippie Jesus’ message will no doubt lead people to attack the church’s wealth, their pedophile priests and their views on women’s bodies. But I’m still excited to see it. It’s a reminder that the people pushing the concept of profit above all have to destroy the true messages of Jesus in order to meet their profit needs. That’s why they want to figure out “How do We Challenge a Social Justice Narrative.”
A social justice narrative doesn’t lead to growing profits for a select group. It leads to a more equitable situation for all. And they just can’t have that.
Flash back -2 A.D.
Fade in a wedding out side of Jerusalem. It’s four weeks before the pagan Festival of Lights.
A drunk wedding guest approaches Jesus.
“Hey Jesus, think of how much money you can make from turning this free water into expensive wine! If we combined this water wine with your loaves and fishes trick and my marketing savvy we could make a fortune! We’ll open up a restaurant. We’ll call it, er um, ”The Needle’s Eye” and we’ll put it in that empty building over on 3rd. You know, the big brown one you get to when pass through Cameltown.
I’m serious! With free wine and free food our only costs would be labor. But if we get people to work for you for free, say we call them disciples instead of waiters, it would be pure profit. That’s it! Jesus H. Christ, the Pure Prophet! Oh My God, I’m a genius. I’ve got to get this idea to Matthew, Mark and Luke so we can get some coverage on this. I just hope they get the story straight. The gospels are so easily manipulated. Gotta run, partner. Give my best to Mary.”
Happy Holidays everyone!
Live Long and Prosper,