Pope to Teens: Get Off The Damn Internet

Yep. He sure says a lot but what has he actually DONE? Not much.

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He isn’t distinctly less horrible, though. But hey, people fall for it, anyway. No one actually considers what he’s DONE, or even what he’s said. If you actually were to pay attention, you’d realize he’s just the same ol’ same ol’.

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It’s very easy to say things like:


When you are sitting in a magnificent golden throne, dictating to the masses what they can and cannot do with their own bodies.

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I think this is a failure of parsing.

ā€œchatting on the Internet or with smartphones, watching TV soap operas, and (using) the products of technological progress, which should simplify and improve the quality of life, but distract attention away from what is really importantā€

He didn’t say, ā€œStop using the internetā€ he said, ā€œStop dicking around.ā€ As mad as I am that we haven’t arrested Ratzinger for abetting child molestation, I’m even more angry that we are misreading what this pope is saying. (?!?)

Well, he did demote the Bishop of Bling. That’s something, right? /s

I hope I’m not the only person who was momentarily confused about the logic of telling ā€œaltar serversā€ to get off the internet.

ā€œWhat good are servers if they aren’t on the internet? And since when has the church needed servers at the altar? Are they taking tithes via Square now, or… oh.ā€

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Maybe it is about airgap security. Altar servers belong to the red part of the church intranet that should be physically disconnected off the internet.

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