Portsmouth Middle School warns parents about Smartie-snorting epidemic and the risk of nasal maggots

boing
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Yup. :slight_smile:

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These people put the “loco” in “in loco parentis.” Honestly, administrators, don’t you have academic standards to enforce somewhere?

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Does that work?

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Known as Fizzers in the UK

fizzers.jpg1800×1200 236 KB

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I just have to point out, Pixie Stix would be ten times less effort.

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According to Futurama, the smarties type of candy is made of bonemeal and earwig honey.

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Do they snort the red ones last?

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I live in Rhode Island, and am a foster parent, and have to do 15 hours of “enrichment” every year to keep my specialized foster care and adoption license. Last year I chose to listen to a talk given by a drug counselor from family court on “drug trends with teens in Rhode Island.”
I seriously could have debunked about 99% of what she said on snopes if I had pulled out my smart phone. I have never used drugs in my life (ever) and even I knew that it ridiculous.
Here is some of what I “learned”:

  1. The vodka in the tampon thing. I raised my hand and said, “Um, I thought that was an urban legend debunked on the internet…” she shook her head at me disapprovingly and said, “Oh, I don’t know…” so
  2. Apparently they do vodka in the eyes, too.
  3. There is no meth use in Rhode Island because the mob keeps meth out so they can make more money from cocaine. This is actually the one I think might be remotely true.
  4. Depending on where you live in Rhode Island depends on what kind of drugs you use. Apparently there are more hard drugs in the city, and more psychadellics near Connecticut.
  5. Marijuana is 100 thousand (that’s the number she used) times stronger/more dangerous now than it was in the 1960’s. And often leads to mental illness.

TLDR: the drug hysteria is strong in RI

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I see no reason to doubt this theory, other than senile decrepitude or utter moral purulence.

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Imagined Maggot Danger are supporting Razor Tube in a gig at the middle school hall next Friday. IT’S TOO LATE!!!111!1!

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Helicopter parents these days, back when I was younger, we had Satanic Ritual Abuse at day cares! And we liked it JUST FINE.

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I. Hate. You.

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ZOMG! Are you telling me this is going on RIGHT ACROSS THE BRIDGE from where I live in bucolic Bristol, RI?

I demand armed guards at the bridge, searching EACH and EVERY motor vehicle for sugar-laced nasal treats! This menace must be stopped before it crosses Narragansett Bay and infects the precious, innocent youth of MY neighborhood.

Other than that, I’ve got nothin’… it’s the first I’ve heard of it. I don’t bother with local news, because this is just the sort of tripe you get.

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Wait - did you go to Wes, too?

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Depending on where you live? It’s different on the right side of the street from the left?

This shit was rumor 30 years ago.

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The Nasal Maggots that sounds like a good name for a garage band.

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And now it’s being taught as fact by counselors… sighs…

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And we can say we liked them before it was cool…

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Connecticut is pretty much Haight Ashbury in '67.

'cept for the Gold Coast. That’s LA.

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Well, after they took Pop Rocks away and brought back a watered-down version, you just knew kids were gonna flock to the Smarties…

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