Prepare for The Avengers: Age of Ultron with this seven-minute Marvel movie summary


Appreciate the overview, but my only question going into Ultron is: who loses an arm in homage to Star Wars? [Hoping no U.K. BBers spoil the surprise]

You know what I always liked about movies? That they were self contained. That the filmmakers established a universe unto itself and we came along with it. Characters were introduced, the setting was announced, nothing worked without them telling us about it and as a result they were tight, concise.

Star Wars, for example, has a line when we first see a guy watching a sunset. “Luke!” “Coming, Aunt Beru.”

Bam, view of guy dreaming and wanting to get away. Bam, character name. Bam, relationship.

Now we literally have a seven minute guidebook to tell us about all the other stuff in a sequel, where the main characters are all known to us and the filmmaker has been saved an hour.


SO how do Batman and Robin fit into this Universe?


All of the MCU movies are self-contained, though. The TV Shows, too. They are all connected, but still self-contained. This is really unnecessary and it appears it was done not by Marvel but by the people at Vulture … so. Probably just for nerds.

You can watch any of the movies without needing a summary of past events, I promise you.

Oh? Let’s just skim the script from The Avengers, shall we?,-The-(2012).html

Let me know the first instance you see a character actually say the name of another character. If I’m seeing this movie on its own, who the hell is Samuel L Jackson playing? You know that Clark Gregg and Cobie Smulders are deferential to him, but what are these people’s names? And if you don’t know actors names, it’s “why is that eyepatched dude yelling at this guy in a suit and that woman?”

Oh, scene 3 we learn he’s a director of some kind and talking with a doctor. That’s somewhat useful. A musical director? Funeral director? Director of Funology on the Love Boat? A doctor of biology maybe? Must be chemistry, I see test tubes. Oh, wait, maybe it’s physics? Oh, duh, he’s obviously a medical doctor. Ah, here we go, an “Agent Barton” is introduced by name!

You do need to see the previous films, otherwise you have no idea Why Jackson is walking around giving orders or to who or what the McGuffin everyone is talking about is.

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Sort of. It’s still fairly stand alone.

But… The Avengers 2 is … a … get this: A SEQUEL!

Do you know what “sequel” means in the context of a movie? A continuation of the previous story. Yikes.

You could just not watch the movies. Done. Easy. Watch something else, instead. I think you’ll be okay. I think I"ll be okay. Everyone will be okay!

So what if the script I’m talking about was… the first one? Does that kind of negate your comments?

So let’s take a sequel, shall we? Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom?

First line? Why, it’s a character introduction! “Dr. Jones.”

Writing has gotten lazy even as audiences get smarter. Scripts used to be created as long form art, to be watched in 40 years with less context. Now, nothing makes sense without six hours of additional material to set up the movie you’re about to watch. Who has time for that? Especially a summertime film that’s supposed to be fun?

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Okay. Whatever you say. You sure told me!

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