just how old do we know then you can go straight ahead
I was with you until “how good we actually have it.” I don’t think of tragedy as existing to make you feel better about yourself. I mean, I’m not a fan of tragedy porn in general, but I think tragedy is an inescapable part of life, and so even when it’s not our tragedy, it strengthens our empathy and our resolve.
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Gulp…
No, it’s certainly not weird. It’s not a burden that everyone could comfortably shoulder. But a certain perspective helps make it bearable. The child was dying, and his dying wish was granted. An awful, dreadful, inexorable moment was at least partially alleviated with a modicum of joy and wonder. Doesn’t matter at all if that moment was built atop a lie or a fantasy; the kid had a friendly, loving usher to help him out of this short, painful life… not too many people’s last mortal contact is with Santa, as opposed to a frustrated doctor or a murderer or a trigger-happy cop or an overworked nurse… or nobody at all. I lost a brother in 1992, another in 2009, and both my parents in the last 3 years. I was with all four of them in their final hours, and was glad to be able to do whatever I could to ease their passing, but my biggest regret is that both my parents died alone, in the middle of the night, without me there to make sure they weren’t suffering or afraid. I wish I’d stayed with them.
Not everyone can shoulder this burden, but what is worse is knowing you didn’t shoulder it when the time came, even though you could have.
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Children do die my friend. Having Santa send you off is pretty major.
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I actually appreciate that after the tear-jerker tale thx
Jesus. Christ.
I don’t need a headline like this first thing in the morning.
Yeah - how about maybe this pushes people to be a little more giving and charitable to people - not just during the holidays, but year-round.
Instead of conspiracy-theory-ing the shit out of it.
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I’ve been avoiding this story online for a few days now from a few places. Broke down and read the BB post and man that’s just heartbreaking. I am very glad that the kid went peacefully and with someone kind by his side. I can’t remember what song it is… i think Regina Spektor but there’s a line that says that some people’s last images in life is seeing someone with hate in their eyes and it’s stuck with me over the years. This guy taking on the role of Santa, man that’s a hard job in many ways but he’s made of sterner stuff than I.
I don’t know how a family can cope from that kind of loss but i wish them the best.
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Here’s the Regina Spektor song. Posting it because i think it fits this story in question. I’ve always found the song a bit hard to listen to, but i love it. Not the first time i’ve cried listening to her music:
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Not to be a debbie downer, but things in sub-Saharan Africa are closer to that past you speak of than the present the vast majority of BBSers enjoy.
It’s crazy that we here in the US talk about seat belts on school buses (might save a life or two annually tops, but would cost a relative fortune) while in other parts of the world 1 of 9 don’t make it to age 5.
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I have two good friends who have lost children in very different circumstances (one lost two from SIDS, the other a 10yo from cancer). They handle it differently as one was already a man of faith and he relied on that faith heavily – and it’s stronger than ever. The other was not a man of faith and the death of his daughter sealed it. But they both have other children, and the sentiment had always been that they must carry on for them. The hard part, for the friend who lost his 10yo, is seeing her friends grow up – they are all maturing and turning into young adults but his memory of her is “stuck” at the age she passed away at.
There are times when I think of them and put myself in their shoes and really I can’t bare it for more than few seconds. Especially this time of year. I can’t imagine one of my kids not being there. I seriously don’t think I could “do Christimas” but I’d have to for the other kids.
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At 3 or 4 children are usually still super confused about death. They ask questions like, “If you are buried in the ground, how do you eat?”
I think that makes a lot of sense. I can’t imagine dying at the age of five, and I won’t pretend that I can imagine what it would feel like to lose a five-year-old child. But by just reading this story we’re all witnessing someone else’s tragedy, so we’re much more akin to the Santa than to anyone else in the story.
It sounds like it was, but I think we should leave it to him to decide whether it was too burdensome. He had a very bad day, he thought about hanging up his Santa hat for good, he thought about other children and decided he’d keep at it. I can’t imagine going through that experience and regretting doing it.
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Yes, that’s how they start to learn about death. By the time they’re between 5 to 7, they have a good understanding of death. The question was whether or not a 5 year old could understand death, the answer is still Yes, especially if one has had to spend a good deal of time in a hospital.
They learn this fairly quickly. At age 3, only 10% of children understand that death is irreversible. After just 1 year, that jumps to 58%.
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It sounds like this is a particularly hard time for you (the holiday season usually is, for a lot of people). Please talk to someone, either a doctor or a support group or help line.
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Way to make it all about you.
Thank you. I lost two close family members around this time of the year, both within the same week. I automatically associate Christmas with death, and I don’t need to associate it with more death. Sorry for subjecting all y’all to my bullshit.
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God damn it.
I read this story fine and talked about it in a detached way in the thread.
Then five minutes ago I was in the elevator and thought of the little boy feeling happy to get a Paw Patrol toy and it was all I could do to keep myself from weeping.
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I can’t answer for him, but I had the same thought. I’m a hospice volunteer and have sat with several patients as they passed, one just last week, actually. It doesn’t happen like this, like something from a movie with the poignant last statement and then DEATH. Particularly with terminal illness, there’s a decline that lasts several hours to several days that involves no response, fixed staring, involuntary movements, unpleasant smells, and labored, wet breathing. It’s long, tough, and not very cute. And if he really did order the boy’s family away he’s an asshole and bad at his job. So did he visit a sick boy? Probably. Did the boy die dramatically in his arms? Doubtful. Saying this doesn’t make me a jerk, just someone who respects the actual, tough work that caregivers do with dying patients.
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I don’t think you’re wrong at all. Stick to your guns and feel how you wanna feel. Don’t let this turn into a Very Special Episode of BoingBoing.
Oops. Too late.
Of course, the very fact that I’m on your side on this might make you wanna reconsider your position…
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