Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/12/19/santa-teaches-busy-mum-a-lesso.html
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Santa seems to work differently in Russia.
“When out on the roof there arose a slight quaver,
the secretive steps of a creepy white slaver…”
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That was - wait - what did I just watch? I hope it makes more sense if you speak Russian?
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If commercials were as long and boring as “Lord of the Rings”…
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I bet I know what set of books THAT particular Santa will be putting under the tree for all the good submissive little girls this Christmas…
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So I saw a woman get kidnapped, develop stockholm syndrome. and then after her kidnapper dies, comes across the place her daughter drew and I think died there hallucinating what could have been her reality if she’d only cared about her kid.
maybe I am just a cynic.
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My favorite part is when Gandalf has to sit because he feels a great disturbance in the force…
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Well that certainly was full of holiday cheer. This year give the gift of abduction and have a loved one dissappeared.
Also, brutalist Christmas tree and futurist couch in a modernist/industrial home?
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More like Grumpy Ol’ Saint Dick, amirite?
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Surveillance, abduction of a rich person who’s fallen out of favour with authority, female subjugated by a manly man who shows her the error of a woman stepping outside her proper “kinder küche kirche” role: Putin likes!
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You say gulag, I say Santa’s Reeducation Camp for Counter-Revolutionary Parents.
(Also, even though it would have perfectly supported the story, note how mom’s limo does not sport a flashing blue light…because Moscow Credit Bank knows when not to be naughty; -)
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I think women that don’t perform motherhood “right” often get punished in different media.
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The tree!! lol. That was so great!
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Small pedantic note (and after I posted elsewhere on grammar Nazis): It isn’t a Christmas ad as the title makes clear, but New Year (Novogodnyaya skazka - New Year Fairy Tale)*. Russian Christmas is in January** so they wish you happy New Year and Christmas in that order - convenient for our Russian class as we can have our Christmas lunch in the restaurant dead season here and have no trouble booking.
*Russian fairy tales can be as Grimm as those of the German Bruder. They start really cheerfully and then get extremely grim and gory before the happy ending. In Grimm, being Germanic, there often isn’t even a happy ending.
**Russian Orthodox Church has nothing to do with that new-fangled Gregorian calendar.
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This is true;
If you are a recent Oxford or Cambridge graduate from a suitable background with a degree in maths or English, you may be able to get a job as tutor to the kids of an oligarch. One of the side jobs is to advise the parents on good taste. The pay can be enough to buy a house in London by the age of 30 or so.
I have this from a contact who was at public school with some Russian kids from the kind of background shown in the ad.
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Upon further reflection I had a few random thoughts…
#Surveillance State
"Russian Santa watches all comrades through video surveillance because he is good and want to take care of people, just like government, and they both like red and abducting bad people, da?"
Isn’t that a bit creepy anyone? Of course this Santa ends up being pretty f’ed up so maybe that is just setting the stage.
Funny how that is the normal part of the commercial.
#Abduction and Torture
Would this kid really be so fucked up as to want her mom kidnapped and abused? I can’t imagine that was her wish, so wtf is up with this police state santa. Like she could somehow be kidnapped and tortured and that would make her want to be a mom who makes time for her kid? Especially since this only happened because her kid contacted santa about her. It wouldn’t mess her up for life? She wouldn’t die? Or resent her kid? Seems like a veiled justification for Siberian work camps or something…can’t quite pin this bit down but man what a weird way of thinking.
#Sexism
This commercial shows woman who is a mom (implied single parent?) who seems to be making some serious cash but is always too busy with work to spend time with her daughter?
Is this as sexist as it seems? If it were a single rich dad the daughter would be depicted as happy, and him some sort of hero dad despite being too busy, or am I wrong about that?
Anyone with that much money who is that busy would have people hired to take care of their kids yet you don’t see any care for the child anywhere at any point.
#Fish
In case you missed it, the jumping fish at 4:41 was that supposed to be funny or awe inspiring? haha.
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So many questions:
Where’s daddy?
My gender and weight aside, I would have snapped those heels in the first five minutes. Is she some sort of Superwoman?
How many working parents does it cost to raise a child? It’s three point five, right?
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That was right after he gave 10 Points to Gryffendor for being overly smug.
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Earning money. Or out with friends, mistresses, or friends’ mistresses. This ad is about parenting, not about things men do.
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You get a holiday degree in Predictive Triggering and a contract to shoot a truck ad involving a car with a multilevel crafting space and auxillary heaters! Congratulations.
Also, intern onboarding just got waaay more outdoorsy just now. Packing heated insoles for the review exams. Looking into Slack consultants to have family in on meals somehow.
February edition will have Father Winter turn around on ridge, ask ‘Have I answered your questions in a timely and courteous manner?’ or Разве я ответил на все ваши вопросы в своевременной и учтивой манере? or something.
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