Originally published at: Proof that tapirs are more adorable than you think | Boing Boing
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Meanwhile, the ostrich (emu?) in the background is all “Why do they get all the attention?”
Also, I thought that stepping on your own dick was just hyperbole, but I guess for tapiers that could be an actual problem.
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Until…
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Reason #6: They have three foot, ground grazing schlongs that make photo shoots…awkward.
My first ever published piece was a poem I wrote, when I was 8, about Tapirs. The local paper ran an open competition, and my truly unhinged poem written after I’d just had my mind blown by discovering what a Tapir was after it debuted at the Lowry Park Zoo. Still my favorite animal thirty+ years later. Happy memory 
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Huh. I didn’t realize these schnozz-havers were that big.
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Working around large animals is dangerous. Horses kick people all the time, but you don’t see anyone blaming them 
It all started 4,000 years ago, when a pig and an elephant locked eyes across the common room on Noah’s ark…
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To continue the all-important tapir news:
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Oh God! Now all I want to see are Japanese zoo tapir escape training simulation videos!
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If I ever were to buy an expensive sports car (I will not), I would prefer one with a tapir-based logo rather than a stallion-based one. Not for this reason though
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