Proof the Thomas the Tank Engine theme works with all rap

Originally published at:


my 9 year old, who is into hip-hop, has been obsessed with the Thomas the Tank Engine theme lately…It seems to be a thing going around lately (think he first picked it up on Roblox)


Oddly, my brain kept trying to overlay Kid Ory’s Muskrat Ramble over this. I’d guess that would work pretty well too.


They’re two they’re four they’re six they’re eight
Crashing trucks and spilling freight
Red and Green and Brown and Blue
They screw up everything they do
All of them are arrogant
In spit of their incompetence
Derailed at almost every bend
Thomas and his friends.


They’re two they’re four they’re six they’re eight
Delaying their appalling fate
Red and green and blue and brown
One day they’ll be melted down
They think that if they work and strive
Sir Top’em hat will spare their lives
But they’ll all be scrapped in the end
Thomas and his friends

Is the island of Sodor a work camp for developmentally disabled artificial intelligences?


Today I learned there is a lot of great rap that doesn’t work with Thomas the Tank Engine.

3/4 or 6/4 might just about work. 15/8 not so much.

15/8 essentially gives you three bars of normal 4/4 then drops a beat on the fourth bar. The rhyme at the end of a line becomes the beginning of the next, giving both songs a nice flow.

7/8 is kind of the same, but since you don’t get so much space between the dropped beats it’s more jarring:

Jet Pack by Flobots is in 5/4 and it’s pretty intense:

Gone Fishing by Captain Murphy is in 5/4 and it’s pretty trippy:

And Story 2 by clipping is in all of the time signatures:


This is the first I had heard of it …

Edit: which apparently sparked off a whole YouTube sub-genre featuring various mundane simulator games set to heavy brostep.

Edit: is Forklift Simulator a real thing?


The default assumption these days is X Simulator is a real thing. Look at the Steam store page, or if you’re not into walled gardens, and bask in the mediocrity of all things Simulator.


Yes, forklift stimu— oh, SIMulator… no idea

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Ace reply man, why is no one giving you love for this?

That last song is great, reminds me of the time i took a music appreciation class in college and delved into the history of jazz. There were some really talented jazz players that would mess with the time in their performances in very interesting ways. Usually involved in almost imperceptible delays or speeding up in hitting notes while still keeping the time signature. Not a musician so i don’t know how common this is but learning about it and breaking down what jazz players were doing was cool.

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I uh… uh…

The uh… I …

I try out all my replies here on BoingBoing BBS Simulator first to see how they play out before I post them…


We’re all living in a simulation to begin with. It’s turtles all the way down.


I think it’s a fascist dictatorship.


Likely distracted by the awesome links!

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Uh oh, somebody’s still running a beta!

Bravo. Not generally my genre, but you blew my mind several times over with that selection.

BBS staff: Doop should be writing on/recommending music in this space.

Story 2 by clipping is epic. I’m particularly happy you brought that one to us. What an incredible use of variance in the time signatures.

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Dude. Thanks for that!

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It might have worked if they’d bothered to match the tempos. As it was, that was a…er…trainwreck.