Proposal: turn Twitter into a user-owned co-op

You’ll have to your state’s department of Internet communications to get your tweeting license first.

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You obviously haven’t heard of cultish techbro Ponzi schemes the new disruptive sharing economy

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There’s a knock-knock joke in there, somewhere…


A: Knock-knock.

B: Who’s there?

A: The Disruptive cow.

B: The Disrupt-

A: YOUR OBSOLETE TOP-DOWN JOKES HAVE NOW BEEN CROWDSOURCED AND WE IPO ON MONDAY

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Also, Publix is pretty good.

[ETA] OH! And Bob’s Red Mill.

Hm. I wonder if co-ops being large entities actually works to its advantage?

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Being large enough to support professional management and paid staff probably helps. Your typical neighborhood food coop isn’t. The small coop relies on volunteer labor, which becomes a chore to be avoided, and the only rewards are the ones that reinforce negative behaviors. For a coop run like real business, the employees have a real job with the benefit of having equity. Also, I don’t think a coop necessarily has to be non-profit, though I could be wrong about that (I am neither a lawyer or an accountant). I’m pretty sure there are employee-owned companies that are for profit (King Arthur Flour, for instance).

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And both the ones I mentioned, too, are for-profit as far as I know. Excellent points, so thanks for bringing them up.

I don’t know the answer to your question; but it arguably isn’t really relevant to twitter. They consistently lose money; and their management is starting to catch flak because they haven’t come up with anything to change that; nor have they been terribly successful in keeping active user numbers stable, much less increasing them.

They arguably raise the somewhat different question of “Has anyone ever been successful at turning something into a co-op when it would probably be more valuable when rolled into one of its competitors?”

Barring some stroke of genius in the near future, Twitter itself is likely to bleed out as soon as their excuses stop pleasing investors. The trouble for anyone looking to go co-op is that their corpse is likely to sell for whatever Google or Facebook or Verizon think they can scrape out of it by combining it with their existing arsenals of creepy personal information and relentless advertising; rather than just selling for scrap.

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*lives in the Northeast
*weeps b/c no Publix here
*walks into Safeway
*screams “YOU’RE NOT PUBLIX AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!!!”

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