Didn’t we already establish that I didn’t want to?
Doesn’t that sound dull? Do they spin you around and turn you upside down and the like?
Haven’t I always found Mickey Mouse and Goofy and the rest of those deathly dull?
Didn’t I grow up near(ish) Alton Towers, now famous for this?
The Spinning Teac-cups do, but beyond that? Do you think this is some sort of amusement park for thrill-ride fanboys to get their thrills on, fanboyishly?
Wasn’t I lucky enough to go to Disney World before they retired 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Mission to Mars and the 1980s Carousel of Progress?
Doesn’t my oddest memory of Disneyland include a Weird Al sighting, where he was just sitting on a bench in the park? Didn’t one of my friends go a little bat shit and point at him going “Weird Al! Weird Al!” while he just smiled, nodded sheepishly, and waved at us? We’re past the statute of limitations for youthful indiscretions in the 1980’s right?
Does it involve a drill?
Getting pounded in the butt by your Hugo Award?
Having a nice nap interrupted by spitting into a small toilet-like device mounted next to your head?
Would you believe this is this first dental work I’ve had other than wisdom teeth extraction? And this was just a chip?
Is it safe?
Is it secret?
Why don’t you go to Disney World or one of the international Disney parks instead?
(problem solved!)
Didn’t I do that this week? Isn’t my hygienist happy with my teeth except one spot on the top, which she wants me to floss/brush better? Don’t they still want me to get my wisdom teeth out so they don’t cause problems later on (although they’ve never given me major problems?
Aren’t I grateful for that suggestion? And won’t I go right after I pay off all my student loans? Is anyone going to the Maker Faire this month in the meantime? Because isn’t it wonderful? Won’t I miss it after we move to Washington?
Can I give my opinion about the Disney universe?
Haven’t I determined that Disneyland is basically a day park, with millions of people living within driving distance, which means everyone shows up from opening to closing to get their money’s worth, getting crankier and more obnoxious by the minute? And isn’t it grimy?
In comparison, isn’t Disney World meant to be a place you have to make a point of visiting for at least several days, so most visitors are more relaxed and on vacation mode? Doesn’t that make for a more reasonable experience? And isn’t it helpful to travel in a large enough group (at least two adults, but more is better) so that choices can be made, such as some people staying back to sleep in, or maybe go back to the hotel in the afternoon to swim before heading back into the park itself for the evening activities? And aren’t there aspects of the various parks in Disney World which can be interesting/enjoyable/peaceful for non-Disney fanatics?
Isn’t the end result of the vast amount of training that all park employees go through fascinating to witness? Doesn’t it feel like a well-oiled machine in many ways? And isn’t it nice to have a place that celebrates childhood instead of begrudgingly allowing children to exist?
Isn’t it a case of: do lots of research in advance, so you can have the trip that suits YOU?
Don’t I feel weird even promoting Disney parks? Aren’t I more of a get out into the outdoors sort? Weren’t those couple of trips back in the '80’s worth it though, just to marvel at the spectacle?
Don’t I totally agree with you? Aren’t I the last person on earth who would seem to promote the Disney empire? But haven’t I had to do a lot of things out of character as part of the process of raising little hellions to adulthood? And haven’t I learned to eat crow quite often as a result? As the saying goes: aren’t most people much more certain about their parenting choices BEFORE they have children?
Didn’t I read about a response to someone criticizing a parent of an unruly child recently that went along the lines of “yeah, I was a much better parent before I was a parent, too”?
But haven’t I managed to live (relatively) near to Orlando without ever going to that Disney? If I ever go back to Florida, won’t it more likely to be to return to the Keys or maybe the Everglades? And isn’t that what Jr has asked to do?)
Isn’t it nice to see Zak Goldsmith get his arse handed to him in the London mayoral elections? Didn’t he deserve that after his racist campaign? Is the first Muslim mayor of a major Western city an important moment? (especially one elected by mostly non-Muslims?). But why was Ken Livingstone going on about Hitler again today?
Jungle Cruise dull? Star Tours dull? Space Mountain dull? Indiana Jones ride dull? Buzz Lightyear Astroblasters dull? Whaa!? What if because you hadn’t been there, you just didn’t realize that it was actually awesome with the only problem really being that it was hard to get to and not cheap so you couldn’t go as often as you should?
Isn’t it amazing how tightly packed those tracks are in there?
