Read the new official explanation for Palpatine's return in Star Wars

Originally published at: Read the new official explanation for Palpatine's return in Star Wars | Boing Boing


The Darth Plagueis story is the perfect explanation to it, sensible, well developed in the book – and present in Episode III, I think, in the dialogue between Palpatine and Skywalker. I thought it was canon, it’s just right and ready to use. The whole clone thing is just cheap. =/


Others (like my wife) were left scratching their heads at a confoundingly lazy hand-wave of a plot line.

“This isn’t the sophisticated and demanding audience we’re (not) looking for.” – the movies’s writers.


Season 3 GIF by Parks and Recreation

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Main problem for me: LucasArts/Disney hadn’t the cojones to take a route for good or bad, and then tried to make concessions for the grognard fans, and messed everything in the end.


“This led to Palpatine creating more clones and strand-casts of himself in the hopes that one would offer a more suitable vessel for him to inhabit.”

Just say “horcrux”, it will be a lot easier for everyone to understand.


OK, now explain how he got enough construction crews and materials to build a giant fleet of star destroyers even though the planet was situated in such a way that navigating even one small ship there required an elaborate series of quests to obtain an obscure artifact.


Somebody inside opened the garage door for them.


Corporations are absolutely abhorrent guardians of literary properties. Too many cooks with too little discipline and the ever-present temptation to extract as all the value from the franchise in the short term rather than invest in building value over the long term.

It saddens me to see such apathy given to franchises like Star Wars, the Marvel Universe, etc


Now, that’s some mighty fine tap dancing. Lousy ad-hoc writing, but a good effort at distraction. More “If we repeat it often enough, people will forget we came up with it after the fact. Their kids will never know we dropped the ball.”


Canon explanation (from the ROS novelization, I think) is that for the entire span of the Empire, Vader and his Inquisitors were gathering up Force-sensitive children and shipping them to Sith School on Exegol, not entirely unlike the Jedi gathering up Force-sensitive children and shipping them to the Jedi Academy on Coruscant.

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well, i suppose he did have a lot of time to do it, but still… yeah, it’s pretty ludicrous.

Until I saw this headline, I didn’t know he had come back. But I guess anyone who’d care about spoilers would already know that.

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Wait up a second.

Are you seriously suggesting that the Marvel Cinematic Universe—a multibillion-dollar franchise that spans hundreds of hours of on-screen storytelling and shows no sign of slowing down any time soon—hasn’t shown interest in building “long-term value?”


When I read an explanation of this sort, I can kind of imagine the conversation at the cubicle

“Heeeey… so, we noticed it’s been, like, years since we gave that little task about the whole Palpatine Lives backstory thing… How’s that comin?”

The guy sighs, looks up from whatever video game he is playing and says,

“Okay, whatever, I will get it to you by lunch.”

He clickity-clacks in notepad for 8.5 minutes, rolling his eyes several times, pastes it to an email, and goes back to whatever video game it was.


The occupants of Exegol appeared to be very few in number, and those that were there certainly didn’t put up much of a fight to defend the Emperor. The only resistance that Ben Solo met upon arriving in Exegol was his five former knights of Ren, who didn’t even have lightsabers. Pretty lame.

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What if they were all Palpatine clones? You know, kinda factory seconds? That whole social dynamic would make an AWESOME tv show.


“Although it does leave me wondering why he didn’t have a contingency for his contingency…”

Guess we’ll find out in another 30 years or so?

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JJ Abrams has a well-earned reputation for setting up engaging mysteries and then absolutely flubbing the delivery when it comes time to provide the explanation for those mysteries.

It’s just a good thing that Cloverfield ended before the audience learned where the monster came from, because the explanation probably would have been “it was all a dream” or something equally lame.