Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/08/26/watch-new-footage-from-star-wa.html
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Stupid ending idea everyone will hate: Rey turns to the Dark Side. Kylo Ren then decides the Dark Side isn’t cool anymore and apathetically becomes the new hero.
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JJ Abrams loves him some red herrings. Rey becoming evil/Sith is such a huge reveal that I’m guessing this is some sort of “if you continue on this path…” vision. Her turning to the Dark Side isn’t something to just casually slip into a teaser trailer.
On the other hand, if it’s canon that Palpatine created the Skywalkers, Rey being one of his creations would also make sense… heck, I dunno. We shall see!
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Or better yet- Leia goes to the dark side, to the same effect. Nothing makes a rebellious child rethink what’s “cool” faster than his mom getting into it. Like how Facebook was a popular platform for college kids until everyone’s mom got an account.
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I strongly suspect that they’re going to realize at the end that the real Death Stars were the friends they made along the way.
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Rey and Kylo Ren fall in love, and have a bunch of cute force-babies. The bad guys admit they were wrong and go away, while Reylo cuddle and run a B&B on Bespin. The end.
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It looks like C3PO also goes to the dark side, what with those red eyes. Give him one of those stupid gimmick lightsabres that the Sith seem to favour and it’s a done deal.
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Plus that Chewbaca holds the hereditary rank of “The Whills” among his people.
Also he keeps a journal.
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C3PO was controlling the dark side the whole time.
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And he would have gotten away with it, if hadn’t been for those meddling kids! (And their droid!)
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Along with Jar Jar, of course.
It all makes sense now. C3PO was just as much a constant through all the films as R2D2 was.
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This just reminds me that R2-D2 is a total robo-dick for not giving Luke a heads-up that the girl he was trying to get it on with was his twin sister.
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Don’t kink-shame.
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If memory serves, Leia kissed Luke.
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That doesn’t mean R2 had to just sit there and watch them tongue-wrestling in his hospital bed.
Shoot, the first thing Luke says when he sees her hologram is “Who is she? She’s beautiful!” Would it be too much to ask for R2-D2 to beep out the astromech code for “don’t get any ideas, kid”?
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This. Our robosexual interpreter is all knowing and finally offs R2 to claim his perch as the eternal Sith Lord
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He misses his time as the god of the Ewoks
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