Rules for depicting Spiderman in film are grimly bland

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I don’t see the problem here. You’re right, I wish people would maybe think of writing some original characters for a change instead, no need to update spiderman, just create something new ffs.


I’d venture to say that the two biggest problems with the spiderman movies are:

a) They’re not fun
b) They’re not hand-drawn (watch Attack on Titan, but then mentally overlay Spiderman for help imagining the potential…)

Yeah, the diversity question is more a problem with hollywood as a whole rather than with the stodginess of a particular franchise.

Whenever I watch my dog go to town on a peanutbutter-filled Kong, shit from a bug red rubber butthole is definitely all I can see…


It looks like Spiderman can be bisexual though.


I kind of want to see a drug dealing 15 year old gay alcoholic spider man now…


So Spider-Man, contractually, can’t be Miles. That is disapointing but not surprising. Let’s hope there isn’t any more unfortunate surprises with the Sony deal.

EDIT: Technically it doesn’t say Spider-Man can’t be Miles but that Parker has to be white.

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Wait, where does it say Spiderman has to be a white dude? Peter Parker is a white dude, but Spiderman hasn’t always been Peter Parker (and thank goodness for that).


Sure he can. That falls under “alternative Spider-Man character”.

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Spider-Man =/= Peter Parker.


Follow the link for the rest of it. There is another section defining the traits Parker must conform to.

Again, “alternative Spider-Man character”.


I know, but Peter Parker is the only spiderman we are getting on film at the moment.

Hopefully Marvel/Disney still have the film rights for Miles Morales.

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I just caught that as you were replying.

Again, you responded quicker than I could type.

I would speculate Miles is included in the Spider-Man deal kind of like how all mutants are included in X-Men deal with Fox.

I like this comment from the gawker thread.

  1. It seems notable that Marvel’s own licensing agreement contains an egregious error: “He gains his powers while attending either middle school or college.” As we all know, every incarnation of Peter Parker’s Spider-Man gains his powers in high school. --Alex Pareene

So what does the asterisk next to not torture, kill, use foul language, tobacco, illegal drug & alcohol abuse requirements mean?

Personally don’t really have much of an issue with the criteria shown. The homosexuality requirement relates to Peter Parker so plenty of room for a queer Spider-Man, and not torturing is kind of the opposite of dorky AFAIC (Although it is a bit depressing that ‘not torturing’ has to be laid out at all).

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“batman tortures. pinhead tortures, The guy from 24 tortures. Why can’t spiderman torture?”

“Because it’s not in character, okay?”

“But what if he really needs to torture to solve the plot”?

“ARGH! Just read your FUCKING CONTRACT,.”


Or be a better writer and come up with a plot that doesn’t end up with the hero torturing anyone…

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