Samuel L. Jackson to be the first Amazon Alexa celebrity voice

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/09/26/samuel-l-jackson-to-be-the-fi.html

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The company plans two versions of his voice — “explicit and non-explicit.”

“Alexa, what time is it?”

Explicit: “It’s twelve-ten.”
Non-explicit: “It’s twelvish.”

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Voice assistant are still creepy and invasive AF and I don’t want one in my house.

But

I’m going to have a lot of fun switching my in-laws Alexa to the explicit Samuel Jackson voice.

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“Alexa, what’s the weather forecast for today?”

“Why don’t you get your sorry ass off the couch and look out the fuckin’ window yourself?”

Yeah, I’m looking forward to ‘explicit mode’.

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Now that I have Waze giving me directions in a Cookie Monster voice, coming home to Sam Jackson swearing the news at me will complete my day nicely.

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Just listen closely and don’t say “What, Alexa?” too many times (especially when it dares you to).

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I dont own an Alexa, but I admit i would be temped to buy one if i could carry out simulated discussion with Christopher Walker or James Earl Jones…

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He must be earning a mother- ~&@$*! gazillion dollars for this.

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I’m sure the first thing a lot of users will do is try and get Alexa to say something about “snakes” on a “plane.”

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Well, I have heretofore abstained from using voice assistants, but this changes everything.

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Please Brian Blessed, whatever money it takes from Amazon, please do this too.

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I would be tempted if they found an actor to simulate Douglas Rain’s voice. That way, when the system inevitably turns against me I wouldn’t be surprised:

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I would also happily pay to hear:
• Stephen Fry
• James Earl Jones
• Helen Mirren
• Morgan Freeman

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Too late for the voice I really want: Alan Rickman/Marvin the Paranoid Android.

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Years ago, Stephen Fry provided his voice to a fancy alarm clock called Voco. If he provided his voice to one of these voice assistants, that (and the ability to change the wake-word to “Jeeves”) would sorely test my resistance to putting a surveillance device in my home.

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“Boba Fett? Boba Fett? Mother fucker, you know you have enough Boba Fetts. Why don’t you go outside and talk to a girl?”

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You read my motherf’n mind.

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I forgot about that! I wanted that clock so much, but for its price. I remember seeing a demo of it with the amazing quote: "Let us seize the day, and take it roughly from behind… as the Colonel used to say, in his unfortunate way.”

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I was thinking more like:

Explicit: “Muthafucka, please… It’s twelve-ten, get your sorry ass out of bed”.

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